How I Make Friends || Facebook Version

So… I have 843 friends on Facebook. I don’t really know if that is a big number or not because it’s 5 in the morning and I am not going to check how many friends other people have and compare that with my number and then type an informed statement (know that I would usually do that, I put effort into this you guys! :P). Anyway, that’s not the point of this post.

Yes, I have 843 friends on Facebook but I know like 10 people in real life. Okay, so maybe I KNOW like 50 people, but I LIKE only about 10 out of that. These are the people who I enjoy talking to and these are also the kind souls who have taken it upon themselves to tolerate my BS. Basically they are nice people and I like them.

Who are the other peeps on my friends list you ask?

Well, they are my acquaintances. When I was younger I thought ‘acquaintances’ was a fancy word and wanted one for myself.. Now I know that acquaintances are nothing but people you have to keep in your life for some reason. For example, you cannot not accept a friend request from that Birbal guy in your class because he is IN your class and it’ll be awkward if you don’t accept his request (you end up accepting requests from anyone whose profile says they are in your college). If Anita lent you her notes for the test then you better send her a  Facebook friend request! Also, you might need notes for the next test because you’re lazy and don’t make any notes, ever. After that one wedding where you met him, Sharma uncle is obviously going to send a request and you must always respect elders. Sheetal aunty, who you’ve never met in your life will also want to connect with you now that her husband and you are “friends”. Then your friend will walk in to your room and ask you to send a request to the “gorgeous man from Constitutional Law class” because she is crushing on him and she needs your account to snoop on him incognito. In the middle of all of this you will shamelessly send requests to your teahers coz they’ll then help you during viva. You also have to be friends with people who you saw for a millisecond back in second grade, because you know, that’s what Facebook is for – reconnecting. Although chances are, you may have no recollection of ever having connected with them in the first place. So basically, you end up with 843 friends on Facebook.

And you know no one. Such is life.





*names have been changed to protect the innocent acquaintances who do not know I am bitching about them over here*

Just so we’re clear – I did not make this. Julia did.

Photo Courtesy –


10 thoughts on “How I Make Friends || Facebook Version

  1. I don’t quite have 843 friends (the number would be like 1/4th of that) but the sentiments you’ve described aptly portray how we end up with so many ‘friends’ who might never have anything to do with our lives.
    I myself don’t either send requests or accept them unless I actually think they’re worth connecting, e.g., current students and relatives are a no-no. I like my privacy (or whatever’s left of it in this day of snoopers and technology).
    Great post. Enjoyed your sarcastic/satiric tone.

    Liked by 1 person

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