Reasons Why I’m Going to Fail in Life.

  1. I obviously can’t write a proper blog title. 8 words for a title. I mean, c’mon dude. Try a little harder!
At least I am better than ToI’s writer!

2. Procrastination – this very post is a result of me procrastinating; I am supposed to be helping a friend finish his research for some college work right now. If there is work that needs finishing, you can count on me to procrastinate till the very end and then finish things off in panic mode. Thing is, nothing is ever perfect when done in panic mode.

3. Priorities – let’s just say I am late for class and I am power walking (read: have an intense expression on face but walk in normal speed coz let’s face it, I am very unfit) to college. If I see a dog on the street and the dog gives me the “look”, I will stop and pet the dog. If I need an ice tea before class, I will get it even if it means I might not be able to enter the class (based on a true story from my 2nd year of college. Professor didn’t understand the need for ice tea.).

3. Sleep – stop reading and comment below: you are starving but you feel numb with sleeplessness. But you cant have both. So, if you have to choose between food and sleep, what’ll you choose?

Me, I choose sleep. I don’t mind dying of hunger while I sleep. That is what sleep means to me. So if I wake up one morning and my body tells me I need more sleep, I will sleep. Don’t care about no assignments, tests, semester end exams, food, water etc. And you can’t get much done when you sleep so that time spent is a TOTAL waste.

4. Instagram – If I had a penny for every time I told myself that I’d close the app in 5 minutes but ended up scrolling for 3 hours, I’d be a very very rich person by now (no, that is a lie, I might have enough pennies for a meal, but that’s all). I don’t know what it is about Instagram that makes me swipe for hours. You start with the innocent stalking of a friend who put up a photo at her cousin’s wedding and next thing you know you are looking at photos taken at Bonefish Grill in Tulsa (based on a true story).

image
When I did end up on this page, I was soo surprised, I took a screenshot.

Same goes for YouTube sometimes but I fall asleep watching YouTube videos. You never fall asleep looking at photos of locals from Tulsa!

5. I watch a LOT of crap TV shows – I don’t really know why, but I really like watching TV shows. Mostly the crappy ones. I don’t mind spending my time on shows like Game of Thrones or Sherlock; they are pieces of art and I appreciate their existence. However, when you waste time watching crap reality shows like the Bachelor/Bachelorrette, Splitsvilla, Roadies, some supernatural shitz etc., you need to worry. Recently I started watching this show called True Blood and I was disgusted when I realised I was on Episode 8 of the first season. The show was just a lot of sex and vampires and fangs and dripping blood and a very confused/slighly psychotic girl and they all speak with a South American accent (which I think they are making a mockery of tbh). Worst part is, I watched 8 episodes of that shit.

I could’ve probably changed the world in those 400 hours! (Yes, I am very proud of myself for the intense calculation I did there)

This list is actually much longer that this so I’ll continue in another post. Let’s hope the title isn’t longer next time. :/

 

love,

me:)

 

Photo Courtesy – http://www.catchnews.com/life-society-news/twitter-takes-on-toi-s-epic-length-headline-hilarity-ensues-1451125594.html , http://mylivingphantasy.tumblr.com/post/121355055664/reasons-why-dans-a-failhttp://www.relatably.com/m/funny-sleeping-memes

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Tuesday is the new Monday.

I have been interning at an MNC. This means that for the first time in my life I was exposed to a strict working culture, a 9-6.30 work time with both Saturday and Sunday off. This is very unlike college when I wake up half an hour before class, wear whatever I can find, scribble something during class and come back in a few hours and go back to sleep. These days I am expected to look professional at work and actually get stuff done while I am there.

The perk is that I get two days off now.

This perk however comes with a giant issue – end of weekend misery.

I, like the majority of the mass out there, hate Mondays. I think they are gross, disgusting and good for nothing days which bring no joy in life. Or that is what I thought.

There is another day which actually is worse than Monday and that is Tuesday.

Okay, so Monday is irritating because no one wants to get back to work after lazing around for two days. Monday brings back the routine in life and if you are anything like me you’d start mourning the arrival of Monday as early as from Sunday evening. What I realised these past few weeks is that Monday passes by quite fast. You expect it to be dreadful and boring, so you are sort of protected from it’s impact.

 The numerous dog memes on the internet helps too.

My poor heart!! ❤ ❤

But then Tuesday comes and you know there’s no hope. You have only gotten past Monday and the majority of the week is in front of you and every minute seems an hour long. At this point you are already waiting for the  weekend to come; you count the days to Saturday and that’s 4 days and now you are sad. Also,  Tuesday’s memes aren’t cute enough.

Cute. But not cute enough to save the day. 

Point is, while you all have been raving about how irritating Mondays are, Tuesday has crept upon bad. Go make/find yourself a nice meme for every Tuesday and share it coz seriously, we all need it. As for me, I am counting down for the weekend already.

 

love,

me:)

 

 

Photo Courtesy – https://www.pinterest.com/explore/monday-memes/ , http://www.memes.com/img/175417 , https://www.pinterest.com/pin/542331980099519101/

Money talks

Last week I was in a bit of trouble with money. I couldn’t fit an ATM visit into my schedule (I could if I really tried but that included me walking a bit and I decided to be poor). So I went around that whole week with just INR 100 in my wallet. I mean, I had cards with me but they didn’t take cards in the places where I needed to use money. Point is, this made me realise how expensive stuff were. For some reason, when you swipe a card (which your mom pays for) you don’t really understand the value of cash.

I remember a time when I used to go to school with less than 100 rupees. And this used to stay in my wallet for weeks! It is understandable in a way because I made no detours between school and home and so there wasn’t really any place where I could spend money. When I started going for tuitions after class hours in 12th grade, I remember my friend and I frequenting this bakery… Cutlets there cost 3 rupees. I used to eat 2 of them.

My friend used to joke that they used crow meat in them and I am worried about that to this day. :/

In the first year of college I remember spending around 100 rupees a day and feeling like I splurged. What sort of brat spends 100 rupees a day?!  Fast forward 4 years later, I am sat here writing this blog with about 400 rupees worth of food around me. I mean, it’s a Thursday and I am alone at home and I needed  dessert so it’s really not entirely my fault, but you know…

What I am trying to say is, things have become expensive. Everything costs at least ₹100. It may not seem like a lot when you casually give out the money but when you think about it, it actually adds up to thousands. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a bit of brat who lives with her parents’ money so I don’t have many complaints. Like Superwoman sang, 🎶Swiping daddy’s card at the club, tweeting bout life being hard🎶 (https://playola.co/embed/7cf75e).

But an year from now I am going to graduate and will be expected to make my own money and pay my own bills and all that.

What the hell am I going to do then?!

Also, I am pretty sure by then Dosa will cost like 200 bucks and tea will be like 50 or whatever. And Starbucks is definitely going to be an issue. How the hell am I going to pay rent AND frequent Starbucks?! (It’s not the coffee. It’s the cookies I am after.). I am probably going to have to cook , but then gas and electricity are both going to come with bills. Also, I hear you don’t always get to stay next to your workplace so that must mean I may have to walk miles or take some sort of vehicle (which again, costs money).

I have a feeling I am going to be very healthy after graduation, what with all the walking and eating raw vegetables because I can’t cook/everything is expensive scenario.

That’s the silver lining I guess.

All this is IF I ever get a job and make money for myself. Otherwise I am very screwed. I hope y’all are here one year from now because I am going to have to eat raw vegetables then and it’ll be better if I have someone to vent to. 😭

love,

(not-broke-yet) me:)
Gif made from – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S–NqtZH06o

Photo Courtesy – https://memegenerator.net/instance/51769329

P. S. I am grateful for the life I have and the intention is just humour. I dont mean to offend anyone with talks of me being poor/broke.

Bridges || Irrational Fears – I

In the past few weeks I have had the misfortune of getting stuck on bridges due to very irritating traffic. I then realised something: I may have an issue with bridges.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not one to say no to an evening stroll on a bridge. They usually have pretty views and sometimes just standing there staring at the water underneath is soothing.

However, these days when I am stuck on bridges my mind keeps running to what would happen if the bridge collapsed. Like seriously,  remember this scene from Harry Potter??

OMG OMG OMG

I am not saying Death Eaters are going to come crashing bridges in India, but lets just say it happens. Like what is one supposed to do when a bridge collapses? I can’t swim, I can’t float, I cannot even scream for help because I will be yelling “I knew this was going to happen, I told you! I told you!” to everyone instead of ACTUALLY doing something to save myself. But chances are, it would be more easier to just do this:

Tom dying at the end of The Duck Doctor (1952)
Annnnd, RIP.

You know, take that one last drag of a cigarette and wait for death to come (Statutory Warning: I am not condoning smoking in any way, it is disgusting and no one should do it.) But you get the point. What’s the point anyways? If the fall doesn’t kill you, the flowing water will. And for some reason the water doesn’t kill you, all the poison people have dumped in there will. Might as well enjoy that one last minute of life, right?

So, during my hours of sitting in traffic, I have come up with an amazing plan in case the bridge breaks. I shall take that as my first and last ultimate bungee jumping. Obviously, it is not going to be a glamorous affair. I reckon I’ll be crying a bit. Also, the view from this particular bridge I get stuck on isn’t exactly pretty. And no one is going to be giving me a certificate for jumping. But I still feel like its the best way to go.

If gravity really wants you to fall, might as well make an adventure out of it!

Very disturbing thoughts some of these, I know. But this is what my mind thought today and I felt the need to tell everyone that.

Next time you’re on a bridge, remember this post ❤

 

love,

me:)

 

P.S.: I am going to be real mad if the bridge actually collapses. Also, I guess this blog post will be considered a forewarning and me an absolute miracle-woman.

P.P.S. The bridge collapsing could also mean the death eaters are rising again. Shitz.

P.P.P.S. Did you read Cursed Child yet? 🙂

GIF Courtesy – http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Millennium_Bridgehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhyndQI3eec

Photo Courtesy – http://www.dragoart.com/tuts/3287/1/1/how-to-draw-a-bridge.htm