There are times in our lives when we feel alone. Totally alone. Like there is nothing else, or no one else around who cares about us, who wants to talk to us, who thinks about us or wants to just spend time with us. Those times are really dark. For some people it might just be a five minute period. For some others these dark times continue for longer periods – days, weeks, months or even years. Imagine the trauma of living like that. Feeling lonely even in a room with 50 people, feeling lonely crossing the street with 10 others, feeling lonely even when a friendly dog licks your face and wags her tail in happiness. That feels awful.
However, is that actually true? Can anyone be completely lonely in life?
Just about 5 minutes ago I heard a speech which made me realize that ordinary people cannot complain about being lonely, ever. No matter what happens in life – a bad breakup or even the tragic death of a loved one. That is no reason to feel lonely. Want to know why? Read this.
Martin Pistorius was a healthy little child until the age of 12. Then a brain infection led him to get to a stage where all he could do was just be a “vegetable”. His parents were advised to take him home and keep him comfortable until he died. However, this “brain dead” child slowly started regaining awareness. His mental abilities started growing and he began to understand what happened around him. But he couldn’t communicate. The commands he gave his body were not received. The result? He became a vegetable who understood what happened around him. An invisible being who was nothing short of me, or you mentally. Imagine if this happened to you. Everyone around you thinks you are part of the bed, that you cant think or comprehend anything. But you are not. You want to tell them that, you want to tell everyone that you can understand them, that you can see and analyse their actions. But you cant. All you can do is just stare blindly at them.
That is loneliness.
Just you, your mind and your body. All stuck together, all fighting a world which wouldn’t take cognizance of your existence. For them you are an invisible ghost. Or you are as insignificant as a piece of furniture. But you are not. But that doesn’t matter to the world. That, is loneliness.
Martin’s condition went on for a decade during which he was abused physically, verbally and sexually by the people who were supposed to take care of him. He was shocked, he wanted to cry, he wanted to fight, he felt worthless, he wanted to scream for his parents. But he couldn’t do any of that. There was even one time of acute despair and desperation when his own mother turned to him and asked him to die. What he felt was compassion for his mother.
What made this young man keep going on in life was one little smile from a stranger once when he was out with his father one day. That connection to humanity kept his soul awake. He wanted to live.
It was one woman’s intuition that saved this man’s life. This smart lady who used to come to the care home was convinced that he could understand the things happening around him. Tests were done and in an year’s time, he was using a computer to talk to people. Eventually more progress happened and soon the man was finally freed to the world. He could be “normal” again.
Today, Martin Pistorius is a husband, a freelance web designer, a famous author, a friend, a brother, a business owner and a lot of other things.
Communication. It really is one of the most powerful skills bestowed on human beings. If we can communicate, we really cannot be lonely. There are other things in the world much important than those people who did not find it worth their time to be with you when you needed them. If you did not find place in their “busy” schedule, then you must not try to be part of it. If there is a gaping hole in your heart, fix it, don’t dwell on it. Talk to the world. Because trust me, the world will want to hear you. Not everyone, but someone is bound to be out there who wants to hear your words. Someone out there will have gone through the troubles you are going through. They will help.
Never be trapped in your own body unless you are forced to. That is what I take away from Martin’s life. Even after being in a world of abuse and loneliness, if that man could find it in him to rise above all that and make a mark in the world, so can you. Now, I am not comparing one person’s life with that of another. Everyone’s lives are their own little personal hell sometimes. All I am trying to say is that you can ask for help. You can open your mouth and ask someone to help you get out of the dark space you are in. The journey could be tough, but it will be worth it in the end. Life really is too special to spend in sadness. We are all soo precious! Try,; just try to make a change. It will happen.
Watch Martin’s video here. I love this man.
If you are on Twitter, go tell him how awesome he is. Here is the link.
If you ever feel lonely, come over here and talk to me. I might not understand your troubles, but I’ll try to help. Promise 🙂
P. S. Mr. Pistorius just favourite-d and replied to my tweets. So basically, we are now BFFs. #LifeGoals #SquadGoals 😛 😀
Photo Courtesy – http://www.viralnova.com/martin-pisotius/