Vices || The PAw’s Thoughts

I noticed something in the past few months during my interaction with the world. Everybody seems to want to know what my vices are. Very honestly the first time someone asked me what my vices were, I had to google what “vices” meant (Yeah, I didn’t know. It’s no big deal).

vice
Vocabulary lessons for the uninitiated.

So vices are basically your bad habits. And apparently the good old “I bite my nails” or “I don’t wash my hair everyday” don’t count. Vices are worse things, apparently.

Everybody I meet seem to want to put horrible ass shitz into their body.  The list starts from coffee (which is only a hug from the heaven lets be honest) and passes through alcohol and cigarettes and end in chemicals I don’t even want to name on my blog. And no, I don’t live in some sort of drug addled locality; neither do I go around making friends with the “wrong kind”. These are actually really good people, they just have vices.

If you ask me, I honestly don’t even know where people get half of these things from. My idea of indulging in a vice is going to a club and getting shots on shots on shots (truthfully though, I don’t need more than 2). I don’t have a favourite “sutta waala bhaiyya” (that’s the cigarette seller for non-hindi speaking peeps) and I definitely don’t have my personal drug dealer (no judgement… I guess…). I am not making these proclamations from a moral high horse, let me be clear. It’s coming from a place of concern.

I understand the want to experiment things in your life. For me the experimenting is closer to buying chicken biryani from that “new place that opened and nobody has really reviewed it so we don’t know if its good or will give you diarrhea”. But I honestly don’t understand how someone can snort cocaine when it’s known to be as addictive and harmful as it is. I can’t think of many reasons where someone might hate themselves/their body soo much that they do shitz like this.

Of course, I don’t mind people using the organic stuff 😛 (not that my minding it or not has anything to do with their personal choices), but its scary how easily certain chemicals which I believe to be evil incarnate are named and revered by everyone soo casually. Have they all tried it or is it just a means to look “cool” (it’s not cool btw.)

To anyone asking me about my vices, let me tell you this: I would rather sit around with my friends drinking chai than experiment hard drugs. I like those days when we meet each other for coffee and vada pav or something and NOT to smoke up and experiment a new whatever your personal drug dealer gave you.

Seriously, the next stranger who asks me about my vices is getting his/her ass kicked.

So basically, drugs are not cool, you don’t need a personal drug dealer, smoking is for losers and your body, health and future is more important than whatever your “friend” asked you to snort.

love,

paw

 

 

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Ya’ll Need To Chill – Episode #1

This series is in collaboration with the wonderful WBG from ThatWeirdBrownGirl!

Disclaimer: Every single opinion and experience is in conjunction with the Indian society, the society and people that we’ve grown up with. If you’re not Indian but the instances are similar, we’re glad you can relate and understand. If you ARE Indian and try denying/ arguing about this, may God bless your soul because it’ll be ripped to shreds by our hands.

YNTC Episode #1: “Your bra strap is showing”

Oh! The…the disgrace, we…have…betrayed the world….EVERYONE! We’ve let the whole world in on THE most guarded secret of all time, one that puts even the secrets that resides within Area 51 to shame! The secret that WOMEN WEAR BRAS BECAUSE WE HAVE BOOBS.

We didn’t know wearing bras were a secret or did we miss out on something important? Some announcement where the visibility of bra straps held people to question virtue of a woman? So you’re saying that the piece of cloth that covers breasts, breasts that people sexualize, are offensive to your eyes? And that we should be embarrassed when people know, or acknowledge, that we wear a bra?

Breaking news: when a woman’s bra strap is visible, she’s “shameless”, or “asking for it” according to people, men in particular, MEN who know squat about the chest area, unless they’re fantasizing about it.

“Look at her, walking around, cheating on all her boyfriends” “Well, a woman has needs, right?” “I can see her bra strap” “OMG what an ATTENTION WHORE!”

Excuse me, but do you know how expensive bras are?! Especially, the smooth, satin-like, makes-me-feel-like-a-goddess ones?! Our bras are expensive and pretty, therefore ex-squeeze me while we pull it out for people to appreciate it. What’s the point of hiding these wonders if people don’t see them?

Believe it or not, but there are phrases that indirectly tell you that your strap is showing like- “Your boyfriend is seen” or “India is coming out of Asia”. Like, WOW. Why not come up with something more subtle and fun, like- “Your pull out game is strong” or “Your boob armour is showing”, why not? Personally, we’re fond of the latter.

The extent of drama that comes with our bra strap making an appearance in public, you’d think it’s an offence graver than some “kEwL gUyzZ” walking around in their low waist jeans, with their butts hanging out. Yeah, btw, that is one of the first arguments against the bra strap. That “if men can’t show their underpants, women can’t show their bra strap” (actually read in the comments section of a Facebook Post defending the bra strap).

First of all, we personally have no issues seeing a man’s underpants. Not that we particularly enjoy having to see them in the metro or bus, but we can always look away and so that’s what we do (which one can do for the bra strap too, just saying). Also, it’s not the underpants that people hate seeing; it’s the bum crack everyone has a problem with. And anyway, comparing a bra strap to the underpants is not fair to the bra strap coz you know, bra straps are mostly always cute, unlike certain hole-y underpants some of us had the misfortune of seeing.

Aeons ago, in a land far far away, there was once an older lady arguing that if we allow bra straps to be shown today, next we’ll be allowing naked women to walk out and about in the streets. Yes, that’s very true. Today it’s the bra strap, tomorrow it’s the Parliament calling an emergency session to change the existing laws on public nudity, and day after all women are getting naked and the week after that complete anarchy ensues. TOTALLY going to happen. TOTALLY. We love enjoying a cool breeze around our privates, thank you very much.

Let’s get to the bottom line. It’s a strap. It’s an effin bra strap. It’s essentially coloured elastic band. Can’t we all just get over the piece of cloth and move on to caring about the bigger things in life? Like women not being able be in public without getting harassed, or gay people not being able to get married or the bee population dying massively? Can’t we?

We got a wonderful answer on Twitter from a fellow WPer, Zalak of ZalakWrites , when asked what goes through her mind when someone tells her that her bra strap is visible. She imparted pearls of wisdom, saying:

“When I hear this, I reply saying FYI. And walk on. Never saw anyone pulling up a man for scratching his balls or adjusting his undies in public”

Other than the serious rampant issue of misogyny, can we just compare the very ACT of adjusting one’s straps with adjusting one’s balls? How is placing your hand gobsmack to your crotch, wiggling, pulling out what seems to be a front-faced wedgie, not frowned upon but pretending to scratch your neck while subtly moving an elastic band an inch to the other direction an embarrassment?

And who, in the mighty depths of Hades, gave the decision that coloured bras are a no-no under white t-shirts? Bruh please, it’s bad enough that we don’t get to wear our lacy, sexy undies for a week, every month, for the majority of our life-span, so leave our clothes and sod off. Hell hath no fury like withholding something shimmery from a woman.

The next time someone comes up to you, gawking about how your bra strap/bra is visible, put your hand inside your shirt, pull out the confetti, throw it in their face and walk away.

And if you have an even cooler response, let us know in the comments! 😀

And remember, BRAS BEFORE BROS!

Cheers!

WBG and Paw 🙂

 

Hey guys! So, this is a regular series that we’re planning on continuing together, forever and ever! We’ve been brainstorming this for quite some time and we’ve finally glued together the scraps and whispered the magic words and brought this to life!

The main aim of this series is to bash out every silly, racist, sexist things that have ever been said to us, personally and in general, with sass and style.

And it is not limited to gender or country. If any of you folks have something to vent out, LET US KNOW. Anything that’s ever been directed at you or to the people that you know, LET US KNOW. Click on both of our CONTACT pages in the menu, and get to venting!

Until then,

Cheers!

Morals.

Recently, I got hooked on the topic of ‘morals’. It happened when I heard someone say on a video that people in the United States have no morals. See the video here (The comment, I think, is in Hindi. I am sorry if some of you don’t understand the content because of the language. I’ll translate it later in the post). I do believe that people must have their own opinions and it is not up to me to criticize someone on the way they think or act. However, I believe it is necessary that people make their decisions based on real information and actual facts. Let me explain.

The video is a collection of interviews on what some Indians had to say about the States. So there was this one question which went like this:

Interviewer: “So, people say that Americans have lost their morals because they have sex anywhere and everywhere, on the streets as well.”

Now, what I expected someone to say was  “I am pretty sure they don’t, but even if they do, how is that losing one’s moral?”

Instead I got this.

A girl said “They have not lost their morals, but yeah, they do have sex, in the streets and all.”

A dude said and I translate “Their country and nature is such that no matter where they go, they do “it”. Like, if it’s New Years, they have to do “it”.”

So, is that what people think of Americans? People who have to do “it” at all times no matter what? As in, if it is New Years they must have sex? What about Christmas? Do they not feel like going at it then?

I feel like people are judging each other on certain perceptions. As in, all Americans must be having sex all the time and going crazy because that’s what some sit-coms show. By that logic, all Indians must wear heavily embroidered sarees and golden jewellery 24*7 because all our TV shows have women dressed like that. Like I said before, I don’t mind the fact that every person has his or her own definition of morals, but these ideas must not be based on false facts. I, for one, do not think every American makes out and has sex on the streets. I am pretty sure you’ll get into trouble with the cops for public nudity and similar acts. However, how can a whole country’s morality be judged like this? On a more important note, why do you have to judge? Having sex is a normal act in life and that isn’t something which downgrades you or your morality. If two (or more :P) people want to do something, which isn’t illegal, why should others care? Does it matter if they want to do it during New Years? Is that another person’s concern?

But then, what made me write this post was when a girl in the video said that “India has culture, US doesn’t.” I think she gave this comment for the same question. If she did, then is she equating having sex with culture? Didn’t we Indians write Kamasutra? Doesn’t that then taint our culture? But then again, what is culture? Okay, this is getting too deep for this one article. Maybe I’ll write about culture in another article.

I’ll summarise. Someone said Americans “need” a lot of sex and that is bad morality. I don’t agree  because I see no connection between sex and morality. Someone said America has no culture. I don’t agree because I believe every country has culture, some people in it might not. The same person said India is cultured. I agree. I love my country, even with the many idiots in it.

Oh, there are some really stupid answers in the video. Someone said New York is the capital of the USA. So then another person countered that by saying USA cannot have a capital since it is a continent. Someone else positively believes that Canada is part of the USA. Oh, Obama won the Nobel Prize for Literature apparently. #FacePalm

Don’t judge the whole country on their General Knowledge, please 🙂

I would love to know what all my readers think about this. Let’s discuss in the comments 🙂

Any Americans out there, comment and let me know if you guys make out and have sex on the street. I am curious 😛