Chat Off.

Last day an old crush messaged me on Facebook while I was using it on my laptop. And I realised that Facebook still has a chat box. I usually use Facebook on my phone and the messages don’t show up in there because I don’t have the messenger app. So I promptly installed the Facebook messenger App (Yes, apparently it’s important that you use a separate App for sending messages, coz WhatsApp/Hike/Viber/WeChat/Skype etc are not enough) and noticed that a lot of people message me in there. Messages from Facebook “friends” didn’t surprise me much but apparently many people, who I have never ever ever met EVER message me. So, I decided to post some of their messages here, coz you know, it’s fun to see how creepy people can be.

These are the very first messages these people sent me. And like I said, I do not know any of them. This is only some of the messages (my wild guess is there’s about a 100 in there) and they’re all not recent. Accumulated throughout the years, these gems are!


Some people just want to be friends. And they seem open about it.



Pretty straight forward, if you ask me. Not wasting anybody’s time here. Good on ya, mate! 👌



Yes Adwitiya, let’s build 💪

Also, thanks for the compliment.



Unlike Gaurav and Deepak, Rafi knows how to properly introduce himself. And he has gone ahead and decided to call me “menuty” which I think is a variation of “meenu” (a short form of my name usually reserved for my friends) and “kutty” (which is a sort of term of endearment in my mother tongue). But thanks for wishing me a happy loooo….ng life, man. Appreciate it .Will convey your regards to my parents too. 🙆



Like, seriously though. Why do these random strangers think I am open to being “frens” with them?? Is that something people do these days? Chat with random-ass people who could be ANYONE? (Never mind, I answered my own question with “Tinder”. 😛 )



Well, if it is a well suited, advanced communication, I am IN! God knows how long it’s been since I’ve had one of those!



Hello Maureen by name, I am not feeling the friendship vibe (more like extreme creep vibes) from you so I’ll pass this offer. Thanks though, Maureen by name!



Then there’s this weird person with a very weird question. Are you a salesperson? Do you want to sell me a golden anklet? Have you snooped around on my laptop and saw internet history of me trying to buy anklet? Are you a thief with a specific interest in stealing only golden ANKLETS? Do you have some sort of “golden anklet on feet” fetish? Soo many questions I have for you!



Nuthan, you may be all flexible (look at that pose on the profile photo! :O ), but don’t spam, mate. That’s not nice. Also dear reader, if you are interested, call Nuthan and join the slim science session. (No, it’s not sponsored. But brands, if you’re listening, you know where to find me 😎 )



No joke, this guy is my absolute favourite. He sure knows how to make a new friend. You’ll go places, Steve. And thanks for making my day better. 🎂


On a serious note though guys, if you get messages from random ass people, ignore it. You never know how these things can turn on you, especially if you are someone who is active on Facebook. It’s your private, personal life that you’re opening up to a stranger and it may not end well if this person is an actual creep. Take care and be smart.


P. S. Look into your Facebook messages and send me the creepiest messages. Let’s laugh a little! 😀

Meanwhile I am turning the chat off on my Facebook. I might be a little scarred from reading it. :/





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How I Make Friends || Facebook Version

So… I have 843 friends on Facebook. I don’t really know if that is a big number or not because it’s 5 in the morning and I am not going to check how many friends other people have and compare that with my number and then type an informed statement (know that I would usually do that, I put effort into this you guys! :P). Anyway, that’s not the point of this post.

Yes, I have 843 friends on Facebook but I know like 10 people in real life. Okay, so maybe I KNOW like 50 people, but I LIKE only about 10 out of that. These are the people who I enjoy talking to and these are also the kind souls who have taken it upon themselves to tolerate my BS. Basically they are nice people and I like them.

Who are the other peeps on my friends list you ask?

Well, they are my acquaintances. When I was younger I thought ‘acquaintances’ was a fancy word and wanted one for myself.. Now I know that acquaintances are nothing but people you have to keep in your life for some reason. For example, you cannot not accept a friend request from that Birbal guy in your class because he is IN your class and it’ll be awkward if you don’t accept his request (you end up accepting requests from anyone whose profile says they are in your college). If Anita lent you her notes for the test then you better send her a  Facebook friend request! Also, you might need notes for the next test because you’re lazy and don’t make any notes, ever. After that one wedding where you met him, Sharma uncle is obviously going to send a request and you must always respect elders. Sheetal aunty, who you’ve never met in your life will also want to connect with you now that her husband and you are “friends”. Then your friend will walk in to your room and ask you to send a request to the “gorgeous man from Constitutional Law class” because she is crushing on him and she needs your account to snoop on him incognito. In the middle of all of this you will shamelessly send requests to your teahers coz they’ll then help you during viva. You also have to be friends with people who you saw for a millisecond back in second grade, because you know, that’s what Facebook is for – reconnecting. Although chances are, you may have no recollection of ever having connected with them in the first place. So basically, you end up with 843 friends on Facebook.

And you know no one. Such is life.





*names have been changed to protect the innocent acquaintances who do not know I am bitching about them over here*

Just so we’re clear – I did not make this. Julia did.

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