Flying with Entitled People|| Time Spent In Series

So we all know about my aversion to flying with babies (here, if you do not) and to kids in general (here, if that is also news to you).

BUT, you know who’s worse to travel with in a flight after babies?

Men.

But no, not all men. There is a special category of men who are actual pain to travel with and they are men who have travelled soo many times on flights that they feel entitled to act a certain way inside the aircraft.

Now of course, women do this too probably. I am just speaking for myself here and I have had this problem  I only with men. Basically, please be kind and don’t get butthurt, guys. 💖

1. Bathroom Entitlement

First things first, is it me or do men pee too many times?! Like, dude/uncle we just sat down. You don’t have to pee as soon as the  captain switches off the seat belt sign, do you? I mean, this doesn’t affect me per se except that I have to get up every time your bladder decides it needs attention, but that’s okay. I don’t mind it. You must probably get it checked though :/

2. Seat Belt Entitlement

And talking about seat belt signs, why is it that most uncles (usually them) MUST remove their seat belts the second the caution light goes off?! I mean, it’s not horribly uncomfortable or anything. Or is it the pot belly? I would never know, I guess.

3. Seat Back Entitlement

Also, why must you be a jerk and ALWAYS push you seat back soo much that poor old me sitting in the back end up having to do origami twists to save my leg from crushing​? I know my legs are short and all, but still maan. If I’d known you were going to take all my leg space I’d have bought a half ticket just for my torso to fit and then curl up in the seat 😒

4. Arm Rest Entitlement

Why the hell are men on my sides taking up the ENTIRE seat handle?! I need a bit of space on it to keep my arm too you know. I mean as I origami myself into the seat my arms need to be kept on the sides or my muscles start spasming and it hurts and stuff (damn, I am old😓)

5. The Leg Entitlement.

Good thing I don’t get space to keep my leg down because if I did, where will the uncles on my sides keep their legs?! I mean they have to man spread (obviously!) and my legs shouldn’t get in the way, right?

Same goes for the guy in the back who decides to keep his leg under my seat. It’s not your fault you’re soo tall, but why don’t you try not moving then around soo much so we share that space so you and I can both be comfortable? But no worries. Thanks to uncle in the front lounging away, my legs are numb from all the crushing.

All this being said though, the minute I voice my concern men are usually extremely adapting and they keep their legs/arms/seat back in check. So maybe they just don’t realise other people getting crushed or have issues controlling their bladder.  

I don’t ever say anything though, because I do not like confrontation and I’d preferably get crushed for 5 hours than actually look at a human being in the eye and say that they need to sit properly.

So men, guys, please. Just look around sometimes and try to keep your bladder and your limps in your own personal space.  🙂 

Love, 

Photo Courtesy – https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/a/airplane_seats.asp


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Exaggerated Comedy AKA Lies

Comedy is basically exaggeration. If I go out to the grocery store and feel mild inconvenience when the guy in front of me in the payment line takes an extra minute to hand out the change, I tweet out saying how “the guy took soo much time to hand over the change that I swear I found a gray hair growing in my nose by the time he was done!”

Now whether you laugh at this or not(you probably didn’t lets be real), this is it. This basically is comedy.

But read that paragraph again. Notice how I said something about me tweeting? Yeah, no. I never tweet. I am not funny enough to make every single daily life situation into a tweet of that god-awful-number of characters. And that is also why you probably didn’t laugh at my “tweet” about growing old in the grocery store. My Twitter is literally me telling my 50 followers about my WordPress posts (maybe that is why I have only 50 followers :/)

And very honestly, I probably already have gray hair in my nose from all the stress so I shouldn’t be blaming the slow guy for it anyway😑

Now if we are really going to get into it, I don’t even go out to the grocery store anymore. Let’s be real, I Amazon prime the shitz out of things, or I order on BigBasket. Minimising human interaction is key to a happy life. I say that, but that’s a lie too. People who know me will know how much I enjoy human company. If not for human interaction (even with the kind that makes you want to punch your own face for talking to them), I’d probably go crazy. So see, lies again.

Also, who even pays with money anymore? Why would the guy pay with cash when he could have done it with the card? Is he primitive? Or was it black money? Is he trying to launder money? Is he using counterfeit notes? More importantly, did I use money laundering in the right context?

What I mean to say is, I lie for comedy. Like all the time. It’s not a horrible thing, of course. But it’s not something I am proud of either. I generally hate liars but I am also a hypocrite and since this lying is only for the purposes of comic relief, I think it’s cool. Agree with me while I try to justify my bad habits 😕

All I am saying is, if I am ever telling you a story, assume that I am exaggerating the shitz out of it so as to make people laugh. It works in real life. People seem to think I am funny. Well, some people do anyway. 😒

It is tough to determine the laughs I get up in the blogosphere. I hope someone laughs at my “jokes” though. I mean if liars go to hell, I might as well be able to make Satan laugh a little as he burns me down to the bones 👺

Well, here’s to hoping to befriend Satan 🍻

love,

paw

Gif Courtesy – http://fuckyeahpheebs.tumblr.com/page/2http://www.betches.com/pretty-little-liars-season-7-episode-4-recap

Vices || The PAw’s Thoughts

I noticed something in the past few months during my interaction with the world. Everybody seems to want to know what my vices are. Very honestly the first time someone asked me what my vices were, I had to google what “vices” meant (Yeah, I didn’t know. It’s no big deal).

vice
Vocabulary lessons for the uninitiated.

So vices are basically your bad habits. And apparently the good old “I bite my nails” or “I don’t wash my hair everyday” don’t count. Vices are worse things, apparently.

Everybody I meet seem to want to put horrible ass shitz into their body.  The list starts from coffee (which is only a hug from the heaven lets be honest) and passes through alcohol and cigarettes and end in chemicals I don’t even want to name on my blog. And no, I don’t live in some sort of drug addled locality; neither do I go around making friends with the “wrong kind”. These are actually really good people, they just have vices.

If you ask me, I honestly don’t even know where people get half of these things from. My idea of indulging in a vice is going to a club and getting shots on shots on shots (truthfully though, I don’t need more than 2). I don’t have a favourite “sutta waala bhaiyya” (that’s the cigarette seller for non-hindi speaking peeps) and I definitely don’t have my personal drug dealer (no judgement… I guess…). I am not making these proclamations from a moral high horse, let me be clear. It’s coming from a place of concern.

I understand the want to experiment things in your life. For me the experimenting is closer to buying chicken biryani from that “new place that opened and nobody has really reviewed it so we don’t know if its good or will give you diarrhea”. But I honestly don’t understand how someone can snort cocaine when it’s known to be as addictive and harmful as it is. I can’t think of many reasons where someone might hate themselves/their body soo much that they do shitz like this.

Of course, I don’t mind people using the organic stuff 😛 (not that my minding it or not has anything to do with their personal choices), but its scary how easily certain chemicals which I believe to be evil incarnate are named and revered by everyone soo casually. Have they all tried it or is it just a means to look “cool” (it’s not cool btw.)

To anyone asking me about my vices, let me tell you this: I would rather sit around with my friends drinking chai than experiment hard drugs. I like those days when we meet each other for coffee and vada pav or something and NOT to smoke up and experiment a new whatever your personal drug dealer gave you.

Seriously, the next stranger who asks me about my vices is getting his/her ass kicked.

So basically, drugs are not cool, you don’t need a personal drug dealer, smoking is for losers and your body, health and future is more important than whatever your “friend” asked you to snort.

love,

paw

 

 

Thoughts during an Uber ride

See… I am a lazy bum. I also do not know how to drive. This means that if I am to go out of the house, someone has to appear with some kind of vehicle. I rarely have people around me who are ready to do my bidding. This is why I have a serious romance with Uber. Also, this is not a paid AD for Uber (I Wish!); the romance is real. If you are an Uber user, you are bound to relate to the following.

  • Finding that perfect Uber

instagram-ah-cf19e8

 

I mean, I know it’s not my skill or my decision as to which Uber I get, but I like to think I have something do with acquiring that perfect Uber. You know, the one that’s close but not too close that you have no time to apply your Kajal or fill in your eyebrow (or whatever it is that non-makeup users do in the last minute).

 

 

  • The first call 

Not very romantic when your Uber driver is a 40 year old father of 3, but nevertheless someone has to call the other and I end up waiting for the driver to call me. And since I don’t call the guy, I end up stalking the car on the App.

  • Endless stalk

I make fun of my mom for staring at the miniature car going around on the App but sometimes I do the same. As I wait for the driver to call me I App-stalk the car making those tiny turns. Sometimes I see the poor guy going in some wrong direction I still won’t call. (#HorriblePersonAlert).

  • Leaving on Time

 

Along with being a lazy bum, I am also very impatient. So when I have to take an Uber it is with utmost care that I leave the house. There is a sweet spot in time when you get down to the entrance of your flat’s building and see the Uber coming into the compound. Only a trained professional can actually achieve that though. I can, sometimes 😎

 

  • Finding the Uber IRL1f5w0mq

Now, it’s not always that you get in that above-mentioned time frame. Either you’re late or the Uber is; and in addition to being a lazy bum and an impatient person I am also perpetually late. This means I have to employ my App stalking skills IRL and find that Uber in the midst of all the cars around. It’s not very tough, but is still a task if the Uber is parked farther than you expected.

 

  • Will the Uber smell like lunch? :/

If you’re someone who threads your eyebrows at a parlour you know how to guess the parlour lady’s lunch from the smell in her hands (is that gross?). I do the same in Ubers. Not a very fun game; but it surely does pass time. It can also give your Biryani cravings if that’s what you smell in there.

  • Do I smell like Lunch?

Close in line with the Uber’s smell is my paranoia that I might actually smell like lunch. Either that or my perfume is too much. Or I stink. You can never win with olfactory I tell you!

  • Which route to take?

If there are multiple routes to a place it’s always irritating choosing the efficient path. You know the traffic is going to be hell in route A, and lesser in route B. But route B is longer and you are already late. You gmble with luck take the shorter route praying to not get stuck in traffic.

Chances are, with my luck, I’ll get stuck in the worst traffic of the decade😒

  • The awkward talking scenes

648935638830579712-twitter

You’d think these issues pop up only on first dates! But no, Uber rides are apparently like first dates :/

Some people like my dad are natural Uber talkers who make conversation with the drivers like they’ve been friends since second grade. I, however have no idea what to do some days and end up hearing Uber’s pay scheme for the millionth time (how Uber pays their drivers is my go to conversation point. I have now reached a point where I could probably write a paper on it.)

  • The music conundrum

Headphones? No headphones? One headphone in? Volume low? Too low you can’t hear. Gawd.

  • Directions when you’re almost there

At this time you realise you don’t really know the way to your friends place or to that restaurant you’ve been to a million times. So you tell the guy to follow the GPS and next thing you know, the GPS stays “your destination is on your left” and instead of a restaurant, all you see is a hardware store:/

  • That final goodbye


It’s not supposed to be weird getting out of an Uber, but for awkward me it’s a big deal. First of all, I always forget to tell the guy “thanks” because I am oh-so-excited about reaching my destination. Then I sort of turn back and say thanks and by then the dude is already looking away. He then hears me and turns to look at me with a “what did you say?” look and then I have to say thanks again but now that he has turned I feel like I need to add more so I say something like ” thanks for the ride, nice car” or “thanks for the ride, nice playlist” or “thanks for the ride, good lunch” or something stupid and it just becomes very yuck.

If you don’t relate this or think this is too far fetched, you’re probably not an awkward person, so be glad and share the post. If you do relate to this, thank you for understanding, share the post.:P

But seriously, are you guys ever this awkward in Uber’s/Ola/Autorikshaw or whatever you use? It cannot be just me. Let me know in the comments section so I don’t feel like a total bum.

love,

me:)

 

Photo Courtesy – https://onsizzle.com/i/nelson-mandela-facebook-probably-not-the-best-tactic-car-264117 , https://onsizzle.com/i/uber-twitter-when-you-dont-feel-like-talking-9192https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/1f5w0mq.jpg , http://www.memegen.com/meme/qj8xvx

What not to do when you’re sick.

So I have been sick the last couple of days and I realised that every time I get sick there are certain things I keep doing which should have killed me. I still do them anyway and repeat them next time I get sick too. Here’s a list.

  • Pretend you’re “finee!”

The very first thing I do when I get sick is to tell everyone, including myself that I am “finee!”. I might sound like my throat is on fire or my body temperature must be enough to make an omelette, but I will still be “excellent, thank you for asking!”. Certain people are abused a number of times  for repeatedly asking me if I am fine (I know it’s out of concern for me, but I really get annoyed you see).

Then inevitably a time will come when I finally accept to myself that maybe there is a little sickness in me and that really sucks.

4456350d093c5f506a052a7b50392061
“I am FINEE!”
  • Eat them tabs

I always advise people to not self-medicate. I am also a hypocrite. So what’s the first thing I do when I fall ill?

Yes, I get the medicines all by myself (who else knows my body better than myself?) and eat them and expect miracles to happen in the next 24 hours. It has one in 15 chances of working (accurate, legit statistics.)  and so mostly I end up feeling like shit and death feels closer than ever.

  • Drink tea and pretend your body will heal itself

If I can bring myself to stand up, I will make tea and then imagine it running through my veins, healing me (Yes, a load of bull crap, but that’s how I think). Needless to say that’s never the case and after the hot tea is consumed, the ill state of affairs come back.

  • Just stay in bed and YouTube all day

Usually, I am a person who is addicted to YouTube. When I am sick, I am some who cannot stop watching YouTube. I watch every new and old video available on it and just stay in bed. If no one has ever told this to you before, YouTube stars cannot come help you when you’re sick. Try telling a friend to call an auto and get you to a doctor ASAP.

  • Bath

My sicknesses usually center around my pulmonary system (IGoogledItForYou) which means I must protect myself from exposure to cold and wet environments. However, one thing I do when I feel very very sick is to take a nice long bath. I do use hot water though, but usually this makes me even more sick (I know this, but I do it anyway because habits.). I then progress to a state worse than ever before, scaring my parents and friends. They positively think I am dying by now but I’m officially still “finee!”.

  • Not go to a doctor

Any normal person by now would go to a doctor or ask someone to take them to one. So why don’t I do that?

I don’t like doctors or hospitals or clinics or basically any place which has the authority to put a syringe into me. And I would happily die than have someone hold me down and inject me. It is this kind of thinking that makes you very very sick. But like I said, I am a hypocrite and I barely ever follow my advice when it comes to illness. Thing is, I end up having to go to a doctor anyway and chances are they are forced to put a syringe in me because of how long it took me to consult one (by which time I am right there next to Lucifer.).

So my advice is, if you feel ill, go to a doctor ASAP, don’t self medicate and sure as hell don’t drink tea and pretend it has healing powers.

Or do all of the above and hope and pray it’s not time for you to meet your creator yet.

345d117d3d8b1a54e4cf111a1cfde8504a3bec4e436a9efd74096ae19b746bf1

 

Photo Courtesy – https://twitter.com/mojorojo , http://www.relatably.com/m/sick-memeshttp://www.relatably.com/m/sick-memes

 

Reasons Why I’m Going to Fail in Life.

  1. I obviously can’t write a proper blog title. 8 words for a title. I mean, c’mon dude. Try a little harder!
At least I am better than ToI’s writer!

2. Procrastination – this very post is a result of me procrastinating; I am supposed to be helping a friend finish his research for some college work right now. If there is work that needs finishing, you can count on me to procrastinate till the very end and then finish things off in panic mode. Thing is, nothing is ever perfect when done in panic mode.

3. Priorities – let’s just say I am late for class and I am power walking (read: have an intense expression on face but walk in normal speed coz let’s face it, I am very unfit) to college. If I see a dog on the street and the dog gives me the “look”, I will stop and pet the dog. If I need an ice tea before class, I will get it even if it means I might not be able to enter the class (based on a true story from my 2nd year of college. Professor didn’t understand the need for ice tea.).

3. Sleep – stop reading and comment below: you are starving but you feel numb with sleeplessness. But you cant have both. So, if you have to choose between food and sleep, what’ll you choose?

Me, I choose sleep. I don’t mind dying of hunger while I sleep. That is what sleep means to me. So if I wake up one morning and my body tells me I need more sleep, I will sleep. Don’t care about no assignments, tests, semester end exams, food, water etc. And you can’t get much done when you sleep so that time spent is a TOTAL waste.

4. Instagram – If I had a penny for every time I told myself that I’d close the app in 5 minutes but ended up scrolling for 3 hours, I’d be a very very rich person by now (no, that is a lie, I might have enough pennies for a meal, but that’s all). I don’t know what it is about Instagram that makes me swipe for hours. You start with the innocent stalking of a friend who put up a photo at her cousin’s wedding and next thing you know you are looking at photos taken at Bonefish Grill in Tulsa (based on a true story).

image
When I did end up on this page, I was soo surprised, I took a screenshot.

Same goes for YouTube sometimes but I fall asleep watching YouTube videos. You never fall asleep looking at photos of locals from Tulsa!

5. I watch a LOT of crap TV shows – I don’t really know why, but I really like watching TV shows. Mostly the crappy ones. I don’t mind spending my time on shows like Game of Thrones or Sherlock; they are pieces of art and I appreciate their existence. However, when you waste time watching crap reality shows like the Bachelor/Bachelorrette, Splitsvilla, Roadies, some supernatural shitz etc., you need to worry. Recently I started watching this show called True Blood and I was disgusted when I realised I was on Episode 8 of the first season. The show was just a lot of sex and vampires and fangs and dripping blood and a very confused/slighly psychotic girl and they all speak with a South American accent (which I think they are making a mockery of tbh). Worst part is, I watched 8 episodes of that shit.

I could’ve probably changed the world in those 400 hours! (Yes, I am very proud of myself for the intense calculation I did there)

This list is actually much longer that this so I’ll continue in another post. Let’s hope the title isn’t longer next time. :/

 

love,

me:)

 

Photo Courtesy – http://www.catchnews.com/life-society-news/twitter-takes-on-toi-s-epic-length-headline-hilarity-ensues-1451125594.html , http://mylivingphantasy.tumblr.com/post/121355055664/reasons-why-dans-a-failhttp://www.relatably.com/m/funny-sleeping-memes

Tuesday is the new Monday.

I have been interning at an MNC. This means that for the first time in my life I was exposed to a strict working culture, a 9-6.30 work time with both Saturday and Sunday off. This is very unlike college when I wake up half an hour before class, wear whatever I can find, scribble something during class and come back in a few hours and go back to sleep. These days I am expected to look professional at work and actually get stuff done while I am there.

The perk is that I get two days off now.

This perk however comes with a giant issue – end of weekend misery.

I, like the majority of the mass out there, hate Mondays. I think they are gross, disgusting and good for nothing days which bring no joy in life. Or that is what I thought.

There is another day which actually is worse than Monday and that is Tuesday.

Okay, so Monday is irritating because no one wants to get back to work after lazing around for two days. Monday brings back the routine in life and if you are anything like me you’d start mourning the arrival of Monday as early as from Sunday evening. What I realised these past few weeks is that Monday passes by quite fast. You expect it to be dreadful and boring, so you are sort of protected from it’s impact.

 The numerous dog memes on the internet helps too.

My poor heart!! ❤ ❤

But then Tuesday comes and you know there’s no hope. You have only gotten past Monday and the majority of the week is in front of you and every minute seems an hour long. At this point you are already waiting for the  weekend to come; you count the days to Saturday and that’s 4 days and now you are sad. Also,  Tuesday’s memes aren’t cute enough.

Cute. But not cute enough to save the day. 

Point is, while you all have been raving about how irritating Mondays are, Tuesday has crept upon bad. Go make/find yourself a nice meme for every Tuesday and share it coz seriously, we all need it. As for me, I am counting down for the weekend already.

 

love,

me:)

 

 

Photo Courtesy – https://www.pinterest.com/explore/monday-memes/ , http://www.memes.com/img/175417 , https://www.pinterest.com/pin/542331980099519101/

Money talks

Last week I was in a bit of trouble with money. I couldn’t fit an ATM visit into my schedule (I could if I really tried but that included me walking a bit and I decided to be poor). So I went around that whole week with just INR 100 in my wallet. I mean, I had cards with me but they didn’t take cards in the places where I needed to use money. Point is, this made me realise how expensive stuff were. For some reason, when you swipe a card (which your mom pays for) you don’t really understand the value of cash.

I remember a time when I used to go to school with less than 100 rupees. And this used to stay in my wallet for weeks! It is understandable in a way because I made no detours between school and home and so there wasn’t really any place where I could spend money. When I started going for tuitions after class hours in 12th grade, I remember my friend and I frequenting this bakery… Cutlets there cost 3 rupees. I used to eat 2 of them.

My friend used to joke that they used crow meat in them and I am worried about that to this day. :/

In the first year of college I remember spending around 100 rupees a day and feeling like I splurged. What sort of brat spends 100 rupees a day?!  Fast forward 4 years later, I am sat here writing this blog with about 400 rupees worth of food around me. I mean, it’s a Thursday and I am alone at home and I needed  dessert so it’s really not entirely my fault, but you know…

What I am trying to say is, things have become expensive. Everything costs at least ₹100. It may not seem like a lot when you casually give out the money but when you think about it, it actually adds up to thousands. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a bit of brat who lives with her parents’ money so I don’t have many complaints. Like Superwoman sang, 🎶Swiping daddy’s card at the club, tweeting bout life being hard🎶 (https://playola.co/embed/7cf75e).

But an year from now I am going to graduate and will be expected to make my own money and pay my own bills and all that.

What the hell am I going to do then?!

Also, I am pretty sure by then Dosa will cost like 200 bucks and tea will be like 50 or whatever. And Starbucks is definitely going to be an issue. How the hell am I going to pay rent AND frequent Starbucks?! (It’s not the coffee. It’s the cookies I am after.). I am probably going to have to cook , but then gas and electricity are both going to come with bills. Also, I hear you don’t always get to stay next to your workplace so that must mean I may have to walk miles or take some sort of vehicle (which again, costs money).

I have a feeling I am going to be very healthy after graduation, what with all the walking and eating raw vegetables because I can’t cook/everything is expensive scenario.

That’s the silver lining I guess.

All this is IF I ever get a job and make money for myself. Otherwise I am very screwed. I hope y’all are here one year from now because I am going to have to eat raw vegetables then and it’ll be better if I have someone to vent to. 😭

love,

(not-broke-yet) me:)
Gif made from – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S–NqtZH06o

Photo Courtesy – https://memegenerator.net/instance/51769329

P. S. I am grateful for the life I have and the intention is just humour. I dont mean to offend anyone with talks of me being poor/broke.

Bridges || Irrational Fears – I

In the past few weeks I have had the misfortune of getting stuck on bridges due to very irritating traffic. I then realised something: I may have an issue with bridges.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not one to say no to an evening stroll on a bridge. They usually have pretty views and sometimes just standing there staring at the water underneath is soothing.

However, these days when I am stuck on bridges my mind keeps running to what would happen if the bridge collapsed. Like seriously,  remember this scene from Harry Potter??

OMG OMG OMG

I am not saying Death Eaters are going to come crashing bridges in India, but lets just say it happens. Like what is one supposed to do when a bridge collapses? I can’t swim, I can’t float, I cannot even scream for help because I will be yelling “I knew this was going to happen, I told you! I told you!” to everyone instead of ACTUALLY doing something to save myself. But chances are, it would be more easier to just do this:

Tom dying at the end of The Duck Doctor (1952)
Annnnd, RIP.

You know, take that one last drag of a cigarette and wait for death to come (Statutory Warning: I am not condoning smoking in any way, it is disgusting and no one should do it.) But you get the point. What’s the point anyways? If the fall doesn’t kill you, the flowing water will. And for some reason the water doesn’t kill you, all the poison people have dumped in there will. Might as well enjoy that one last minute of life, right?

So, during my hours of sitting in traffic, I have come up with an amazing plan in case the bridge breaks. I shall take that as my first and last ultimate bungee jumping. Obviously, it is not going to be a glamorous affair. I reckon I’ll be crying a bit. Also, the view from this particular bridge I get stuck on isn’t exactly pretty. And no one is going to be giving me a certificate for jumping. But I still feel like its the best way to go.

If gravity really wants you to fall, might as well make an adventure out of it!

Very disturbing thoughts some of these, I know. But this is what my mind thought today and I felt the need to tell everyone that.

Next time you’re on a bridge, remember this post ❤

 

love,

me:)

 

P.S.: I am going to be real mad if the bridge actually collapses. Also, I guess this blog post will be considered a forewarning and me an absolute miracle-woman.

P.P.S. The bridge collapsing could also mean the death eaters are rising again. Shitz.

P.P.P.S. Did you read Cursed Child yet? 🙂

GIF Courtesy – http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Millennium_Bridgehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhyndQI3eec

Photo Courtesy – http://www.dragoart.com/tuts/3287/1/1/how-to-draw-a-bridge.htm

 

A Walk In The Rain

You’d think I am the sort of person who listens at least to myself.

For the last one week I have been telling myself that I should carry my umbrella in the morning when I go to work. It rains every evening and I have a proper 15-20 minute walk distance between my flat and the bus stop. So if it rains, I kept telling myself, I am going to get soaking wet and catch a cold.

But did I listen to myself? Absolutely not.

And then, it rained yesterday.
Now, the logical thing for anyone to do at that point will be to get an autorikshaw and go home rather than walk in the raining, cold dark night.

But did I do that? Absolutely not.

I got down at the bus stop, and decided to run back home.

But am I fit enough to run? Absolutely not.

So I ended up doing this weird power-walk/jog/run/cover-head/try-to-not-get-hit-by-a-bus thing and I saw this girl coming opposite me. This rockstar was walking in the pouring rain like she owned the place.

It was cold. It was dark. It was wet. It was uncomfortable AF. The rockstar girl however looked like she was taking a stroll under the nice warm sun in some Goan beach. She was enjoying the rain.

And then I felt shame kicking in. Here I was , on a Friday evening, trying to run away from something childhood me would’ve killed for – walking around in the rain! So I decided to join ranks with Rockstar Girl and slowed down, stopped covering my head and looked up at the dark sky.

It was pretty cool to just walk in the rain, without a care in the world, enjoying the walk, the feel of rain drops on my face, nice cold breeze…

Up until the damn chill starts getting into your bones. Like seriously, I felt my findernails freezing. And then the men on the streets…
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MEN AND STARING AT WOMEN IN RAIN? The number of people who kept ogling at me was irritatingly high. More than just the usual stare, this was more like a “checking you out top to bottom to make sure we don’t miss anything” sort of a situation. And it’s not even like I was soaking wet and dancing around like Tip Tip Barsa Paani! Men, chill a bit. It’s only a girl walking home in the rain, not your wildest fantasies coming to life! Gawd!

Also there was this poop thing that bothered me. In the morning I distinctly remember seeing poop on the road (human/dog/both, it’s a mystery really) at various places. In the evening however, all of that was gone. So there are 2 possilities – either someone came and cleaned it up or it got mixed with the rain water and got on my feet mixed with the mud.
With my luck, the poop’s on me.

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Then there were these vehicles who love splashing water on unsuspecting pedestrians. I didn’t get splashed only because another poor soul decided to walk past me at that point and got hit.
Lastly, I am definitely catching a cold or fever or something. I have this feeling. (Update: The feeling was right. But I am fine now)

Moral of the story is:

  1. Even if you don’t listen to anyone else, listen to yourself. Please do!
  2. Don’t look at random Rockstar Girls and decide to walk in the rain. For all you know, she might be some sort of reverse Daenerys Targaryen person who has immense control to withstand cold climate. You have no such skills, you will freeze to death. In poop mixed dirt.
  3. Teach sons to stop ogling at women. It’s rude, it’s disrespectful and very very cheap.

Photo Courtesy – http://www.bustle.com/articles/22459-how-do-i-ask-to-be-dominated-a-5-step-guide-to-making-your-fantasy-happenhttp://iamawsum.deviantart.com/art/Its-Raining-Cats-and-Dogs-346403680