Flying with Entitled People|| Time Spent In Series

So we all know about my aversion to flying with babies (here, if you do not) and to kids in general (here, if that is also news to you).

BUT, you know who’s worse to travel with in a flight after babies?

Men.

But no, not all men. There is a special category of men who are actual pain to travel with and they are men who have travelled soo many times on flights that they feel entitled to act a certain way inside the aircraft.

Now of course, women do this too probably. I am just speaking for myself here and I have had this problem  I only with men. Basically, please be kind and don’t get butthurt, guys. 💖

1. Bathroom Entitlement

First things first, is it me or do men pee too many times?! Like, dude/uncle we just sat down. You don’t have to pee as soon as the  captain switches off the seat belt sign, do you? I mean, this doesn’t affect me per se except that I have to get up every time your bladder decides it needs attention, but that’s okay. I don’t mind it. You must probably get it checked though :/

2. Seat Belt Entitlement

And talking about seat belt signs, why is it that most uncles (usually them) MUST remove their seat belts the second the caution light goes off?! I mean, it’s not horribly uncomfortable or anything. Or is it the pot belly? I would never know, I guess.

3. Seat Back Entitlement

Also, why must you be a jerk and ALWAYS push you seat back soo much that poor old me sitting in the back end up having to do origami twists to save my leg from crushing​? I know my legs are short and all, but still maan. If I’d known you were going to take all my leg space I’d have bought a half ticket just for my torso to fit and then curl up in the seat 😒

4. Arm Rest Entitlement

Why the hell are men on my sides taking up the ENTIRE seat handle?! I need a bit of space on it to keep my arm too you know. I mean as I origami myself into the seat my arms need to be kept on the sides or my muscles start spasming and it hurts and stuff (damn, I am old😓)

5. The Leg Entitlement.

Good thing I don’t get space to keep my leg down because if I did, where will the uncles on my sides keep their legs?! I mean they have to man spread (obviously!) and my legs shouldn’t get in the way, right?

Same goes for the guy in the back who decides to keep his leg under my seat. It’s not your fault you’re soo tall, but why don’t you try not moving then around soo much so we share that space so you and I can both be comfortable? But no worries. Thanks to uncle in the front lounging away, my legs are numb from all the crushing.

All this being said though, the minute I voice my concern men are usually extremely adapting and they keep their legs/arms/seat back in check. So maybe they just don’t realise other people getting crushed or have issues controlling their bladder.  

I don’t ever say anything though, because I do not like confrontation and I’d preferably get crushed for 5 hours than actually look at a human being in the eye and say that they need to sit properly.

So men, guys, please. Just look around sometimes and try to keep your bladder and your limps in your own personal space.  🙂 

Love, 

Photo Courtesy – https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/a/airplane_seats.asp


One Last Time

I wrote this at 5AM.

I have been in bed trying to fall asleep for 3 hours now. In a last desperate move I even tried watching OK Jaanu (yes, you may judge me a little🙄). When even the constant “Oye”s in the movie failed to put me to sleep I really started wondering the reason for the constant dark circles I have been parading around the past few days. 

Anxiety. 

With just another night left in Pune, for the first time in half a decade I was leaving my comfort zone. Kerala had become my “parents place” and Pune had become my home. I knew the places, people, roads and buildings here. If you want to eat out, I can tell you what to eat from where. If you want to go shopping I can tell you which place has the cheapest items. I can plan the best day out for you and tell you which clubs have the best music. I can tell you how nice it is to dance and sing at High Spirits and then go stand facing the river at Mix36. I can tell you to walk on Lane 1 and get spooked in KP. 

Things will have changed next time I come to Pune. 

For one thing I won’t call it home anymore. I will be a visitor. The Symbiosis sign I’ll see as I land will invoke nostalgia, not homecoming. 

There’ll never be a return ticket to Pune. There will never be telling the auto driver to take me to Rohan Mithila. There will never be waking up to screams and shouting of breakfast plans. There won’t be another “we should toootally eat/dance there duudee”. There will never be late night rush to finish deadlines and finally falling asleep saying “it’s not like they are going to do anything if we submit it late!Fuck it maan!”. There will never be “roadtrips” to go eat at Le Plaisir. Probably never be cribbing about early morning (that’s anything before 10) lectures. There’ll not be another visit to the college cafeteria just to get out of it a minute later complaining how the juniors have taken up every inch of the new campus. Also the constant “why the hell did we have to move to the new campus anyway?!”

There are faces I grew accustomed seeing; people I saw every single day. People who will slowly end up being random Facebook updates. It is something else hugging a friend or classmate and knowing that it probably is the very last time you’ll ever see them. 

Doing everything one last time. 

Meeting everyone one last time. 

Going to places one last time.

Was University worth it? Absolutely. Not because of what I learned in my textbooks; anybody can read from a book. It’s what the people there taught me; to love, to trust, to help, to care, to dance, to appreciate, to be happy, to be grateful and to accept myself as the absolute weirdo I am.

Above all, they taught me that at the end of the day if you’re able to come back home and be amongst people who can make you laugh until there are tears in your eyes, nothing else matters; you have everything you need. 

I have never been sadder to board a flight to Kochi, ever. 

Vices || The PAw’s Thoughts

I noticed something in the past few months during my interaction with the world. Everybody seems to want to know what my vices are. Very honestly the first time someone asked me what my vices were, I had to google what “vices” meant (Yeah, I didn’t know. It’s no big deal).

vice
Vocabulary lessons for the uninitiated.

So vices are basically your bad habits. And apparently the good old “I bite my nails” or “I don’t wash my hair everyday” don’t count. Vices are worse things, apparently.

Everybody I meet seem to want to put horrible ass shitz into their body.  The list starts from coffee (which is only a hug from the heaven lets be honest) and passes through alcohol and cigarettes and end in chemicals I don’t even want to name on my blog. And no, I don’t live in some sort of drug addled locality; neither do I go around making friends with the “wrong kind”. These are actually really good people, they just have vices.

If you ask me, I honestly don’t even know where people get half of these things from. My idea of indulging in a vice is going to a club and getting shots on shots on shots (truthfully though, I don’t need more than 2). I don’t have a favourite “sutta waala bhaiyya” (that’s the cigarette seller for non-hindi speaking peeps) and I definitely don’t have my personal drug dealer (no judgement… I guess…). I am not making these proclamations from a moral high horse, let me be clear. It’s coming from a place of concern.

I understand the want to experiment things in your life. For me the experimenting is closer to buying chicken biryani from that “new place that opened and nobody has really reviewed it so we don’t know if its good or will give you diarrhea”. But I honestly don’t understand how someone can snort cocaine when it’s known to be as addictive and harmful as it is. I can’t think of many reasons where someone might hate themselves/their body soo much that they do shitz like this.

Of course, I don’t mind people using the organic stuff 😛 (not that my minding it or not has anything to do with their personal choices), but its scary how easily certain chemicals which I believe to be evil incarnate are named and revered by everyone soo casually. Have they all tried it or is it just a means to look “cool” (it’s not cool btw.)

To anyone asking me about my vices, let me tell you this: I would rather sit around with my friends drinking chai than experiment hard drugs. I like those days when we meet each other for coffee and vada pav or something and NOT to smoke up and experiment a new whatever your personal drug dealer gave you.

Seriously, the next stranger who asks me about my vices is getting his/her ass kicked.

So basically, drugs are not cool, you don’t need a personal drug dealer, smoking is for losers and your body, health and future is more important than whatever your “friend” asked you to snort.

love,

paw

 

 

Ya’ll Need To Chill – Episode #1

This series is in collaboration with the wonderful WBG from ThatWeirdBrownGirl!

Disclaimer: Every single opinion and experience is in conjunction with the Indian society, the society and people that we’ve grown up with. If you’re not Indian but the instances are similar, we’re glad you can relate and understand. If you ARE Indian and try denying/ arguing about this, may God bless your soul because it’ll be ripped to shreds by our hands.

YNTC Episode #1: “Your bra strap is showing”

Oh! The…the disgrace, we…have…betrayed the world….EVERYONE! We’ve let the whole world in on THE most guarded secret of all time, one that puts even the secrets that resides within Area 51 to shame! The secret that WOMEN WEAR BRAS BECAUSE WE HAVE BOOBS.

We didn’t know wearing bras were a secret or did we miss out on something important? Some announcement where the visibility of bra straps held people to question virtue of a woman? So you’re saying that the piece of cloth that covers breasts, breasts that people sexualize, are offensive to your eyes? And that we should be embarrassed when people know, or acknowledge, that we wear a bra?

Breaking news: when a woman’s bra strap is visible, she’s “shameless”, or “asking for it” according to people, men in particular, MEN who know squat about the chest area, unless they’re fantasizing about it.

“Look at her, walking around, cheating on all her boyfriends” “Well, a woman has needs, right?” “I can see her bra strap” “OMG what an ATTENTION WHORE!”

Excuse me, but do you know how expensive bras are?! Especially, the smooth, satin-like, makes-me-feel-like-a-goddess ones?! Our bras are expensive and pretty, therefore ex-squeeze me while we pull it out for people to appreciate it. What’s the point of hiding these wonders if people don’t see them?

Believe it or not, but there are phrases that indirectly tell you that your strap is showing like- “Your boyfriend is seen” or “India is coming out of Asia”. Like, WOW. Why not come up with something more subtle and fun, like- “Your pull out game is strong” or “Your boob armour is showing”, why not? Personally, we’re fond of the latter.

The extent of drama that comes with our bra strap making an appearance in public, you’d think it’s an offence graver than some “kEwL gUyzZ” walking around in their low waist jeans, with their butts hanging out. Yeah, btw, that is one of the first arguments against the bra strap. That “if men can’t show their underpants, women can’t show their bra strap” (actually read in the comments section of a Facebook Post defending the bra strap).

First of all, we personally have no issues seeing a man’s underpants. Not that we particularly enjoy having to see them in the metro or bus, but we can always look away and so that’s what we do (which one can do for the bra strap too, just saying). Also, it’s not the underpants that people hate seeing; it’s the bum crack everyone has a problem with. And anyway, comparing a bra strap to the underpants is not fair to the bra strap coz you know, bra straps are mostly always cute, unlike certain hole-y underpants some of us had the misfortune of seeing.

Aeons ago, in a land far far away, there was once an older lady arguing that if we allow bra straps to be shown today, next we’ll be allowing naked women to walk out and about in the streets. Yes, that’s very true. Today it’s the bra strap, tomorrow it’s the Parliament calling an emergency session to change the existing laws on public nudity, and day after all women are getting naked and the week after that complete anarchy ensues. TOTALLY going to happen. TOTALLY. We love enjoying a cool breeze around our privates, thank you very much.

Let’s get to the bottom line. It’s a strap. It’s an effin bra strap. It’s essentially coloured elastic band. Can’t we all just get over the piece of cloth and move on to caring about the bigger things in life? Like women not being able be in public without getting harassed, or gay people not being able to get married or the bee population dying massively? Can’t we?

We got a wonderful answer on Twitter from a fellow WPer, Zalak of ZalakWrites , when asked what goes through her mind when someone tells her that her bra strap is visible. She imparted pearls of wisdom, saying:

“When I hear this, I reply saying FYI. And walk on. Never saw anyone pulling up a man for scratching his balls or adjusting his undies in public”

Other than the serious rampant issue of misogyny, can we just compare the very ACT of adjusting one’s straps with adjusting one’s balls? How is placing your hand gobsmack to your crotch, wiggling, pulling out what seems to be a front-faced wedgie, not frowned upon but pretending to scratch your neck while subtly moving an elastic band an inch to the other direction an embarrassment?

And who, in the mighty depths of Hades, gave the decision that coloured bras are a no-no under white t-shirts? Bruh please, it’s bad enough that we don’t get to wear our lacy, sexy undies for a week, every month, for the majority of our life-span, so leave our clothes and sod off. Hell hath no fury like withholding something shimmery from a woman.

The next time someone comes up to you, gawking about how your bra strap/bra is visible, put your hand inside your shirt, pull out the confetti, throw it in their face and walk away.

And if you have an even cooler response, let us know in the comments! 😀

And remember, BRAS BEFORE BROS!

Cheers!

WBG and Paw 🙂

 

Hey guys! So, this is a regular series that we’re planning on continuing together, forever and ever! We’ve been brainstorming this for quite some time and we’ve finally glued together the scraps and whispered the magic words and brought this to life!

The main aim of this series is to bash out every silly, racist, sexist things that have ever been said to us, personally and in general, with sass and style.

And it is not limited to gender or country. If any of you folks have something to vent out, LET US KNOW. Anything that’s ever been directed at you or to the people that you know, LET US KNOW. Click on both of our CONTACT pages in the menu, and get to venting!

Until then,

Cheers!

Time Spent in Mumbai || Time Spent in Series

It’s been a while since I moved to Mumbai for an internship. You know, the land of Bollywood, glitz, glamour, rich, rags, local trains and everything else in between. I was terrified about moving here but now that I am here, I decided to extend my stay for a few more weeks. Don’t get me wrong, this is faar from my comfort zone, it’s a craazy place. But there’s something about the crowd and the people that I want to enjoy for a little longer.

So what all did I notice in these past two weeks?

  • Rude People

Most people told me that Mumbai is one of the most welcoming places because of how tolerant the people are. I agree that the people here are tolerant.. But they are also super busy. This means that they have no time for you or your doubts/concerns/BS. This makes them very very rude sometimes.

Everyone I know are good, nice people. People I don’t know, like rickshaw waalas, uber guys, shopkeepers, random strangers… they scream at me for everything.

I got yelled at soooo many times, it’s not even funny. Rickshaw drivers yell at me because I have no coins with me to pay them and they, for some reason, don’t want to part with the coins they have in their little pouch. They also scream at me for losing my way and telling them to take a wrong turn (that’s not my fault, Google Maps hangs on me sometimes). I get screamed at by pedestrians for walking too slow (I don’t walk slow, they walk too fast).

Things have sort of changed now though. I have also started screaming back at people. After a point you start getting pissed at people trying to get on your nerves for no apparent reason. Maybe this is what they mean by “Mumbai changes you maaan!”. I have however noticed that people who yell at me calm down a little when I yell back at them.

  • Geography

Needless to say, Mumbai is a huge city. Soo huge, that it takes hours and hours to reach from one end of the city to the other. Places I want to go to and people I want to meet live on the absolute other side of the city. I have been refusing to take the local trains all this while because this:

Image result for crowded mumbai local train
Imma not doing “chayya chayya” with these guys🙏
Image result for crowded mumbai local train
What even is this?

So unless ShahRukh Khan himself materialises in front of me and asks me to “chayya chayya” with him, I am not going near any local trains. That means I have to Uber places and even with all the romance I have with Uber (here), I  cannot be content with them charging such high rates to go places. I end up spending all my money on reaching to a place and am perpetually broke.

  • Getting Lost

I pride myself as someone who is pretty good with directions. Unless I am in a mall, I rarely get lost horribly (No, I don’t have an explanation for why I get lost in mall). But in Mumbai, I, for the first time in my life, got lost horribly. Somehow, I managed to walk 3ish kilometres in the exact opposite direction to where I was supposed to go to. With my GPS on. Google MAPS on. People present around to whom I could’ve asked the way. Sign boards around saying I was walking the wrong way.

Still got lost.

Then I had to take an auto, pay extra (which is sad coz I walked so I wouldn’t have to pay 30 bucks. Yes, I am sometimes cheap.)

  • The Name

Finally, there is the whole issue of whether I must call it “Bombay” or “Mumbai”. I know I am supposed to call it Mumbai, but my parents always said Bombay and I feel like I am too old now to change myself. But then again, I don’t want to get beaten up for not saying the right stuff. People seem to want to scream at me for no reason here anyway don’t want to give them a reason to beat me up too! So I am now a changed person who tries real hard to say “Mumbai”.

  • Joeys and Theo’s ka Pyaar. 

Have you heard of Joeys? The pizza place? Their meat ultimo? No?

Take the next flight here. You need this pizza in your life.

It’s crowded, getting your pizza is a huge task and there is usually no place to sit there and ambience is non-existent. But the pizza – I think this place is actual proof that heaven exists.

Then there’s Theobroma. I am not a huge chocolate person, but even I think their desserts are AMAZEBALLS. There are many other dessert places around here too. I have many more to get to so 2017 is going to be pretty cool food wise at least 😀

All in all, I guess even with all the screaming and getting lost and geography issues, it’s still worth living here. If nothing else goes right, you can always go and get yourself good pizza and a cookie (get screamed at the auto guys on your way there and back, but whatever). The city is inspiring actually. Mumbai makes you want to work, to do something with your life. I don’t think many people can sit a home and do nothing all day after seeing the struggles people around get to chase their dreams.

And anyway, Coldplay has come here so that solves any issue I have with this land.

😛

 

love,

me:)

Photo Courtesy – https://kaipullai.com/2011/08/15/hello-world/http://www.i24news.tv/fr/actu/international/asie-pacifique/64961-150320-un-train-deraille-dans-le-nord-de-l-inde-21-//mortshttp://www.i24news.tv/fr/actu/international/asie-pacifique/64961-150320-un-train-deraille-dans-le-nord-de-l-inde-21-mortshttp://www.mumbaieastwest.in/events-in-mumbai/love-mumbai-the-symbol-of-love-for-mumbai-installed-at-bandra-reclamation/

Global Citizen Festival, India || Time Spent In Series

Sooo, I went for the Global Citizen Festival. You know, the thing that is being called the Coldplay concert (and for good reason too. Coldplay is basically heaven’s little Angels performing on Earth). I have been wanting to go since Google’s Twitter account posted this in August:

Everyone was suddenly the biggest fan of the band and I knew getting tickets was going to be an issue. The good tickets (cheap ones of course. Imma no pay 20k for anything) sold-out in seconds. Months passed, and after a “my friend’s friend has a ticket if you pay 7.5k” deal failed a week left to the event, I sort of started being sad. Hope not lost; but sad.

But then the nigh before the event, about 24 hours before Coldplay performed, I got myself a complimentary pass (good hearted people do exist amongst us). It was a whole universe-conspiring-with-me-to-make-it happen sort of situation 💖

I have come back home from the Festival and I have no photos of the event. I would like to tell the world that I made that decision so I could enjoy the show through my own eyes and not through my mobile screen but it was actually mostly because I wanted to save charge on my phone (portable chargers weren’t allowed inside). Phone or no phone, I noticed some real good stuff while I was there, so here goes:

  • Is it me or is Arijit Singh like really cute?

It is not the first time I noticed this, but it sure is the first time I say this out loud. I might have a tiny crush there. He looked soo bloody cute with his curly hair and glasses. The good music adds to the cuteness too.😬

  • Missed Opportunities

Shah Rukh Khan comes on stage to introduce Rahman and he says that anyone who can sing the Malayalam bit in “Jiya Jale” gets to dance with Rahman on stage. I could’ve made history up there on stage had SRK heard me screaming out the Malayalam lyrics. Problems of not having a Gold/Higher Zone pass, I tell you:'(

  • Rahman Rocks (Obviously!); BUT his bassist is a QUEEN!

Firstly, Rahman’s bassist looks like a badass. Then her performance proves she is a real badass. Her hair is literal #Goals. There was a point when Rahman smiled at her and there was soo much pride there. Imagine being soo talented that you invoke pride in Rahman!

Remember that crush I had on Arijit Singh? Yeah, that totally changed and I now have started crushing on her. Such a rockstar ❤

The bassist is a rockstar and then Rahman sings effing “Humma Humma” in effing Tamil at Global Citizen Festival. The hindi-speakers looked confused AF but everyone jumped into jam with him the minute the chorus came up. I made up the entire Tamil lyrics to show off my “skills”, but who cares!

  • Bachchan’s Style

Farhan Akhtar called Amitabh Bachchan to perform with him and while the performance was amazing, I couldn’t help but wonder where I could buy his poncho-kurta thingy from. It was white and comfy and very very stud looking.

I want :/
  • Mandela Effect

Whenever people crowd around, there’s always a truck load of BS around and I specialize in overhearing them. So Vivek Oberoi and Nelson Mandela’s grandson comes on stage for their talk and this girl next to me legit thinks that he is Jay Z. Her friends try to correct her but she wouldn’t listen to them. Finally, after a 15 minute debate, everyone gave up on her and she was convinced that she was right and all her friends were wrong. Mr. Mandela even said something about his grandfather but the debators missed it. I have no idea how I kept a straight face through the whole thing. I tried looking for her when JayZ finally came up on stage but couldn’t find her.

  • JayZ though🤘🤘

Needless to say, the actual Jay Z was nothing like Mr. Mandela. The dude is sooo cool, you instantly feel 10x cooler from just watching him perform. I don’t know much of his music to be honest, but the dude rapped to Chayya Chayya and Mundian To Bach Ke and I was dancing to him like a maniac. Seriously, he made the crowd go CRRRRAZYY.

  • Modi’s Musings

So Modi couldn’t make it to the event so he video conferenced with the 80,000 of us. He wasn’t bad either. He really tried to get on to the young crowd’s wavelength. Cute he was, quoting Bob Dylan and making that little joke about de-monetisation. I just wanted to go give him a hug after the VC<3

  • Who dem girls?

So now after Modi VC’d, everyone expected Coldplay to jump on to the stage and start Paradise or something, but none of that happened. Instead, these two very random girls (who were very hot, so the complaints were minimal) came up on stage and started turning some knobs on their DJ-board-thingy. They were pretty boring if you ask me but mostly so because everyone wanted Coldplay to come on stage. They didn’t really get a fair chance but whoever thought it was a good idea to let them open for Coldplay was clearly delusional.

  • Finally, COLDPLAY happened.🌞👑

I had been waiting for this moment since August and when it finally happened and I heard Chris Martin’s voice flood the grounds, I started laughing out loud. It felt surreal; it felt heavenly. I cannot explain the emotions or the feeling, but every Coldplay fan present there would know what I mean when I say that nothing felt more right than being there at that moment. They played all the crowd favorites, they played some of the old songs for the die-hard fans and they put everything into the performance. Tears were involved, but my heart was super happy and grateful to have experienced them – their first ever concert in India.

Also, Rahman came on stage and Chris and he sang Maa Tujhe Salaam together. Goosebumps on goosebumps happened. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate how Chris totally learned the lyrics while Rahman was performing on stage and decided to wing it? And how he randomly sang Channa Mereya (Must have heard Arijit rehearsing it or something). Such a beautiful soul he has ❤

All in all, the Festival was AMAZING. There was soo much talent, passion and positivity around. People were standing in huge crowds under the blazing sun, sweating and dehydrated (because the lines for water, which the organisers made free (Thank you!), were humongous) but still dancing and singing and cheering for the performers on stage.

Oh, and people who pushed through the rest of us to get to the front without even saying “excuse me”, yeah, you’re all going to hell.

But you know who aren’t going to hell? The nice people who actually did/do good work for the Global Citizen Initiative. I do believe that we are the generation which can end poverty and if you are interested or care, even a tiny bit, about things other than yourself, then please check this out.

Standing in a long line  to get some drinking water or go to the loo was bloody hard, even though I had to do it just the one time. Imagine those people who cannot just open a tap and get fresh water or have the luxury of private washrooms. It sucks.

Coldplay really was the highlight of this mega event, but it is not just about them or the many other performances. All said and done, this is a much bigger cause so please check the site out, do what you can and pledge to be global citizens 🙏

 Oh, and btw, after the Festival I tottally got lost and this random stranger (sent by my relatives whom my dad called in a final attempt to save me) had to come pick me up and drop me home. I forgot the stranger’s name but he has my blessings. I won’t lie, I freaked the heck out when I couldn’t find transportation home. 

But all that was TOTS worth it so imma end this post now.

love,

me:)

Photo Courtesy – https://www.buzzfeed.com/andreborges/the-most-magical-and-wtf-things-that-happened-at-coldplay?utm_term=.acNEEokkgx#.qpJDDGbb6O https://twitter.com/GoogleIndia , https://www.globalcitizen.in/en/,

Do you LOL?

Before we go on with this, LOL is Laughing out Loud; not Lots of Love. Since we are on it, WTF is What The Fuck; not Welcome To Facebook.

Now that that’s clear, let’s get on with my story.

Sometime back I was chatting with this guy and he kept typing a lot of “lol”s. Now I am not one to curtail anyone’s right to LOL, but I was curious. Was this guy really loling (which meant I am very funny), or was he just typing it? I asked him whether people actually LOLed when they typed lol after almost every sentence. He said that people usually type lol when they “smile slightly”.

I’ll take “slight smile” to this face any day TBH.

This got me thinking. How many times have we typed stuff and not actually mean it? I mean, a LOL is unimportant in the grand scheme of things; but certain other things aren’t. I confess to typing things I do not mean hella lot of times.

Firstly let’s talk about all those elaborate plans we make on chat with our friends which we sort of know are never going to happen. I mean, if I had actually gone ahead with every plan I made on chat with a friend I would have seen the whole world by now. Some of these plans are just random “let’s get drunk tonight” and me typing “yes yes. For sure!” knowing that is not an option on a weekday. Then there’s the biggest lie of all times, “hey, we should really catch up sometime!”. Never has that statement actually transpired into real life meeting and catching up. Usually it just ends with catching up over text and that’s it.

There are also those numerous times you send complimentary over texts, not meaning it. Now, I don’t actually do this but I know tons of people who send “congrats” and “that profile photo is sooooo pretty!!!!” and “dude you rocked today’s presentation man!” for no reason other than to just be on good terms with others. Nothing wrong in lifting another person’s spirits up; but don’t blatantly lie maybe?

Oh, and do you guys do this? You’re in a WhatsApp group with a few of your friends but there’s this one person none of you really like so you make a whole another group with the same people except that person you don’t like. I feel like that point sort of defines the beginning of end of your friendship with that person. It has nothing to do with lying on chat, but I just want to know if I am the only person who’s done this.😬

Anyway, from LOLing to outright lies, things aren’t looking too good on my chat scenes at least. If you know me IRL, please still be friends with me :/

 

love,

hoping-I’ll-still-have-friends-after-this, me:)

 

Image Courtesy – https://freakify.com/90-of-faces-are-like-this-when-they-say-lol/

The Blogger Recognition Award

I was nominated for this award on 26th August and in true SpeakingPAw fashion, I procrastinated for very very long time. However, I hate not responding to awards like this because they mean a lot to me and I love that people actually care enough about my writing and has taken time to nominate me for it. ❤

Also, it makes me feel very important 😛

Also, right now  it’s between doing this or writing an assignment on Labour Laws. Clearly, education isn’t very important to me 😀

Thank you ShinyButtonsBlog for nominating me! She has amazing fashion and beauty blog posts but go read her baking stuff also. Seriously pretty cooking happening there.

 

First, I am supposed to talk about how I started blogging. To be honest, it was a decision I took in a split second. I was procrastinating doing some work late one night and suddenly decided that I had things to say and googled “free blogging”. WordPress was the first link that came on there. It’s not my first time blogging btw. I’ve tried this on Blogspot once before. I’ll see if I can find the link to that blog but I feel like it deserves a whole other post.  In the meantime, read my first WordPress post.

Secondly, I am supposed to give 2 pieces of advice to new bloggers. The most important thing is to be consistent with your content. No one likes a blogger who doesn’t post on time properly and goes off the map for months at a stretch (AKA Me. I am sorry. I am also a hypocrite.)  Another advice is to keep your blogger friends close. My blogger friends are the people in the WordPress sphere whose writing  inspire me to write and I absolutely love reading their blogs. So if you are new on WordPress, find people whose writing you like and become friends with them. That helps a lot and makes blogging uber fun.

Now, I would like to nominate these guys for the award –

WBG

Little April Shower

Strictly Lighthearted

Vocal Pendulum

Hope you guys don’t take like a million years to do this like I did 🙂

love,

me:)

photo Courtesy – https://www.pinterest.com/pin/126734176984513738/

Thoughts during an Uber ride

See… I am a lazy bum. I also do not know how to drive. This means that if I am to go out of the house, someone has to appear with some kind of vehicle. I rarely have people around me who are ready to do my bidding. This is why I have a serious romance with Uber. Also, this is not a paid AD for Uber (I Wish!); the romance is real. If you are an Uber user, you are bound to relate to the following.

  • Finding that perfect Uber

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I mean, I know it’s not my skill or my decision as to which Uber I get, but I like to think I have something do with acquiring that perfect Uber. You know, the one that’s close but not too close that you have no time to apply your Kajal or fill in your eyebrow (or whatever it is that non-makeup users do in the last minute).

 

 

  • The first call 

Not very romantic when your Uber driver is a 40 year old father of 3, but nevertheless someone has to call the other and I end up waiting for the driver to call me. And since I don’t call the guy, I end up stalking the car on the App.

  • Endless stalk

I make fun of my mom for staring at the miniature car going around on the App but sometimes I do the same. As I wait for the driver to call me I App-stalk the car making those tiny turns. Sometimes I see the poor guy going in some wrong direction I still won’t call. (#HorriblePersonAlert).

  • Leaving on Time

 

Along with being a lazy bum, I am also very impatient. So when I have to take an Uber it is with utmost care that I leave the house. There is a sweet spot in time when you get down to the entrance of your flat’s building and see the Uber coming into the compound. Only a trained professional can actually achieve that though. I can, sometimes 😎

 

  • Finding the Uber IRL1f5w0mq

Now, it’s not always that you get in that above-mentioned time frame. Either you’re late or the Uber is; and in addition to being a lazy bum and an impatient person I am also perpetually late. This means I have to employ my App stalking skills IRL and find that Uber in the midst of all the cars around. It’s not very tough, but is still a task if the Uber is parked farther than you expected.

 

  • Will the Uber smell like lunch? :/

If you’re someone who threads your eyebrows at a parlour you know how to guess the parlour lady’s lunch from the smell in her hands (is that gross?). I do the same in Ubers. Not a very fun game; but it surely does pass time. It can also give your Biryani cravings if that’s what you smell in there.

  • Do I smell like Lunch?

Close in line with the Uber’s smell is my paranoia that I might actually smell like lunch. Either that or my perfume is too much. Or I stink. You can never win with olfactory I tell you!

  • Which route to take?

If there are multiple routes to a place it’s always irritating choosing the efficient path. You know the traffic is going to be hell in route A, and lesser in route B. But route B is longer and you are already late. You gmble with luck take the shorter route praying to not get stuck in traffic.

Chances are, with my luck, I’ll get stuck in the worst traffic of the decade😒

  • The awkward talking scenes

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You’d think these issues pop up only on first dates! But no, Uber rides are apparently like first dates :/

Some people like my dad are natural Uber talkers who make conversation with the drivers like they’ve been friends since second grade. I, however have no idea what to do some days and end up hearing Uber’s pay scheme for the millionth time (how Uber pays their drivers is my go to conversation point. I have now reached a point where I could probably write a paper on it.)

  • The music conundrum

Headphones? No headphones? One headphone in? Volume low? Too low you can’t hear. Gawd.

  • Directions when you’re almost there

At this time you realise you don’t really know the way to your friends place or to that restaurant you’ve been to a million times. So you tell the guy to follow the GPS and next thing you know, the GPS stays “your destination is on your left” and instead of a restaurant, all you see is a hardware store:/

  • That final goodbye


It’s not supposed to be weird getting out of an Uber, but for awkward me it’s a big deal. First of all, I always forget to tell the guy “thanks” because I am oh-so-excited about reaching my destination. Then I sort of turn back and say thanks and by then the dude is already looking away. He then hears me and turns to look at me with a “what did you say?” look and then I have to say thanks again but now that he has turned I feel like I need to add more so I say something like ” thanks for the ride, nice car” or “thanks for the ride, nice playlist” or “thanks for the ride, good lunch” or something stupid and it just becomes very yuck.

If you don’t relate this or think this is too far fetched, you’re probably not an awkward person, so be glad and share the post. If you do relate to this, thank you for understanding, share the post.:P

But seriously, are you guys ever this awkward in Uber’s/Ola/Autorikshaw or whatever you use? It cannot be just me. Let me know in the comments section so I don’t feel like a total bum.

love,

me:)

 

Photo Courtesy – https://onsizzle.com/i/nelson-mandela-facebook-probably-not-the-best-tactic-car-264117 , https://onsizzle.com/i/uber-twitter-when-you-dont-feel-like-talking-9192https://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/1f5w0mq.jpg , http://www.memegen.com/meme/qj8xvx