Exaggerated Comedy AKA Lies

Comedy is basically exaggeration. If I go out to the grocery store and feel mild inconvenience when the guy in front of me in the payment line takes an extra minute to hand out the change, I tweet out saying how “the guy took soo much time to hand over the change that I swear I found a gray hair growing in my nose by the time he was done!”

Now whether you laugh at this or not(you probably didn’t lets be real), this is it. This basically is comedy.

But read that paragraph again. Notice how I said something about me tweeting? Yeah, no. I never tweet. I am not funny enough to make every single daily life situation into a tweet of that god-awful-number of characters. And that is also why you probably didn’t laugh at my “tweet” about growing old in the grocery store. My Twitter is literally me telling my 50 followers about my WordPress posts (maybe that is why I have only 50 followers :/)

And very honestly, I probably already have gray hair in my nose from all the stress so I shouldn’t be blaming the slow guy for it anyway😑

Now if we are really going to get into it, I don’t even go out to the grocery store anymore. Let’s be real, I Amazon prime the shitz out of things, or I order on BigBasket. Minimising human interaction is key to a happy life. I say that, but that’s a lie too. People who know me will know how much I enjoy human company. If not for human interaction (even with the kind that makes you want to punch your own face for talking to them), I’d probably go crazy. So see, lies again.

Also, who even pays with money anymore? Why would the guy pay with cash when he could have done it with the card? Is he primitive? Or was it black money? Is he trying to launder money? Is he using counterfeit notes? More importantly, did I use money laundering in the right context?

What I mean to say is, I lie for comedy. Like all the time. It’s not a horrible thing, of course. But it’s not something I am proud of either. I generally hate liars but I am also a hypocrite and since this lying is only for the purposes of comic relief, I think it’s cool. Agree with me while I try to justify my bad habits 😕

All I am saying is, if I am ever telling you a story, assume that I am exaggerating the shitz out of it so as to make people laugh. It works in real life. People seem to think I am funny. Well, some people do anyway. 😒

It is tough to determine the laughs I get up in the blogosphere. I hope someone laughs at my “jokes” though. I mean if liars go to hell, I might as well be able to make Satan laugh a little as he burns me down to the bones 👺

Well, here’s to hoping to befriend Satan 🍻

love,

paw

Gif Courtesy – http://fuckyeahpheebs.tumblr.com/page/2http://www.betches.com/pretty-little-liars-season-7-episode-4-recap

Do you LOL?

Before we go on with this, LOL is Laughing out Loud; not Lots of Love. Since we are on it, WTF is What The Fuck; not Welcome To Facebook.

Now that that’s clear, let’s get on with my story.

Sometime back I was chatting with this guy and he kept typing a lot of “lol”s. Now I am not one to curtail anyone’s right to LOL, but I was curious. Was this guy really loling (which meant I am very funny), or was he just typing it? I asked him whether people actually LOLed when they typed lol after almost every sentence. He said that people usually type lol when they “smile slightly”.

I’ll take “slight smile” to this face any day TBH.

This got me thinking. How many times have we typed stuff and not actually mean it? I mean, a LOL is unimportant in the grand scheme of things; but certain other things aren’t. I confess to typing things I do not mean hella lot of times.

Firstly let’s talk about all those elaborate plans we make on chat with our friends which we sort of know are never going to happen. I mean, if I had actually gone ahead with every plan I made on chat with a friend I would have seen the whole world by now. Some of these plans are just random “let’s get drunk tonight” and me typing “yes yes. For sure!” knowing that is not an option on a weekday. Then there’s the biggest lie of all times, “hey, we should really catch up sometime!”. Never has that statement actually transpired into real life meeting and catching up. Usually it just ends with catching up over text and that’s it.

There are also those numerous times you send complimentary over texts, not meaning it. Now, I don’t actually do this but I know tons of people who send “congrats” and “that profile photo is sooooo pretty!!!!” and “dude you rocked today’s presentation man!” for no reason other than to just be on good terms with others. Nothing wrong in lifting another person’s spirits up; but don’t blatantly lie maybe?

Oh, and do you guys do this? You’re in a WhatsApp group with a few of your friends but there’s this one person none of you really like so you make a whole another group with the same people except that person you don’t like. I feel like that point sort of defines the beginning of end of your friendship with that person. It has nothing to do with lying on chat, but I just want to know if I am the only person who’s done this.😬

Anyway, from LOLing to outright lies, things aren’t looking too good on my chat scenes at least. If you know me IRL, please still be friends with me :/

 

love,

hoping-I’ll-still-have-friends-after-this, me:)

 

Image Courtesy – https://freakify.com/90-of-faces-are-like-this-when-they-say-lol/