I Moved! || Mumbai Tales

So as it turns out you can’t forever stay in college and get your parents to pay for your shit. There is this thing apparently where you need to become financially independent (read: be broke AF), acquire this thing called a job (read: slavery, but you get paid and that’s nice), acquaint yourself with new levels of stress (from work people, autowaala bhaiyyas, neigbourhood aunties/uncles, relatives who think its shaadi time etc.) and become what everyone calls an “adult”. This package also includes this special, mindblowing-ly amazing process called getting a roof over your head which in my case basically meant walking around the streets of Bombay looking for a flat which did not collapse on me or suffocate me with moth/fungus covered walls.

Oh yes, I moved to Bombay/Mumbai (I want to say recently, but it’s been a year and a month now 😀 ). For the above mentioned job/adulting requirements I decided the city of Bombay would be a good start.

So I packed my bags and moved.

Obviously, the transition has been nothing less than utter disaster, involving:

1. many amazing weeks of sleeping in the living room of a friend’s apartment,
2. shifting to the dining room of a complete stranger’s apartment,
3. sharing bed with some random person who never spoke to me (except the time she said she was found a donor and was leaving to get a kidney transplant done; yes, that happened),
4. upgrading into the same stranger’s coffin sized bed room from the dining room,
5. getting suffocated in the coffin (and deciding I was too young to die),
6. running away and finding space in a girls’ hostel,
7. realizing the hostel life isn’t fit for someone like moi and going house hunting again,
8. seriously contemplating constructing a cardboard fort to live in,
9. finding an actual decent place only having to move again in a few months,
10. going through the stress of house hunting again, only this time accompanied by brokers who told me I had unrealistic housing expectations,
11. proving them all wrong and
12. finally, FINALLY discovering a good, cute apartment where me and my soul have found peace at.

Needless to say, the last one year and a month has been nothing short of incredulous and me waking up every morning thinking WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS BOMBAY?

Job has been kind though, I like what I do so that’s been good.

Everyone who moved around the time I shifted to Bombay has now left Bombay or shifted away to places around Bombay that I cannot spot on a map, so I spend a lot of time working or chilling with the one or two people whose face I actually like looking at over the weekends ❤

In other news, I have become completely anti-social and the naive, pure, friendly, college student PAw has turned into that person who exclusively only uses the black heart emoji to show affection.

In yet another news, I still do not have the happiness of cuddling a doggo yet, so that hole in my heart is still going strong. 😦

In news number 3, I went travelling to Czech Republic last month; expect a blog post on that soon. There are more travels planned for this year, updates will be here.

In news numero cuatro, I still have not learnt Spanish properly, so I had to google the spelling of cuatro. Yo no hablo español. Namaste. (for the Spanish illiterates, I just said that: I do not speak Spanish)

Another no hablo for Yo is Marathi, and if you know Marathi in Mumbai you basically rule the rickshawallas’ circle and they don’t shout at you unnecessarily. I believe I have mastered Hindi by now, but the people don’t agree.

So yeah, that’s that. You are all caught up on the last one year and a month of my life.

🙂

Love,

Photo Credit: https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-illustration-girl-walking-hobo-stick-illustration-over-her-shoulder-image78564909

Guess who’s back?

You know how this blog started?

It started with me lazing around at my parent’s place at 3 AM, procrastinating from packing my luggage for an early morning flight and making excuses to not leave for college to continue my *ever awesome* law education.  I just opened WordPress, made an account and wrote the first thing that came to mind, I don’t even remember proof reading it, cos YOLO.

Anyway, the blog started, I told my friends about it, they told other people, new people started reading the blog, a lot of writing happened and then suddenly college ended, real life struck me hard and I stopped writing.

Just like that… one fine day I logged in to WordPress and I couldn’t write any more. I mean, I did not know what to write about. I had no thoughts in my head, no funny something I noticed someone doing in the streets, no cute anecdotes, no life changing realizations, nothing. Initially I forced myself to blurt out words, but nothing was good enough to escalate from just being a draft.

Then one fine day I just decided I didn’t want to write anymore.

Somewhere in between my work life and the everyday hustle I had to go through, the writer decided to stop blurting out words.

I stopped writing completely.  This was back in August of 2017.

New year came, new things and people and events happened in my life. I still didn’t write. The WordPress App became the least used App on my phone.

It’s now 2.55AM on a Sunday. I have no early morning flight to catch, but I am procrastinating from folding a pile of laundry on my bed.  I also am supposed to finish a bit of work but I don’t want to do it right now, cos YOLO.

I still have no insights to give, but I realise I need to get back to writing. I need to start talking to myself, I need to watch the people and the things around me, I need to wake up in the middle of the night scrambling for my phone/laptop to scribble down whatever suddenly popped up into my mind. I need that rush again.

So here goes… round 2 of Keep The Blog Alive. I am officially back from the longest writing hiatus I have probably ever taken; hopefully the longest writer’s block I’ll ever have. Let’s see how this goes 🙂

P. S. I already know exactly what I am going to write about next so maybe the block actually did lift. #PTL

Love,

Photo Credits: https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/283830-computer-reaction-faces

 

 

Flying with Entitled People|| Time Spent In Series

So we all know about my aversion to flying with babies (here, if you do not) and to kids in general (here, if that is also news to you).

BUT, you know who’s worse to travel with in a flight after babies?

Men.

But no, not all men. There is a special category of men who are actual pain to travel with and they are men who have travelled soo many times on flights that they feel entitled to act a certain way inside the aircraft.

Now of course, women do this too probably. I am just speaking for myself here and I have had this problem  I only with men. Basically, please be kind and don’t get butthurt, guys. 💖

1. Bathroom Entitlement

First things first, is it me or do men pee too many times?! Like, dude/uncle we just sat down. You don’t have to pee as soon as the  captain switches off the seat belt sign, do you? I mean, this doesn’t affect me per se except that I have to get up every time your bladder decides it needs attention, but that’s okay. I don’t mind it. You must probably get it checked though

2. Seat Belt Entitlement

And talking about seat belt signs, why is it that most uncles (usually them) MUST remove their seat belts the second the caution light goes off?! I mean, it’s not horribly uncomfortable or anything. Or is it the pot belly? I would never know, I guess.

3. Seat Back Entitlement

Also, why must you be a jerk and ALWAYS push you seat back soo much that poor old me sitting in the back end up having to do origami twists to save my leg from crushing​? I know my legs are short and all, but still maan. If I’d known you were going to take all my leg space I’d have bought a half ticket just for my torso to fit and then curl up in the seat 😒

4. Arm Rest Entitlement

Why the hell are men on my sides taking up the ENTIRE seat handle?! I need a bit of space on it to keep my arm too you know. I mean as I origami myself into the seat my arms need to be kept on the sides or my muscles start spasming and it hurts and stuff (damn, I am old😓)

5. The Leg Entitlement.

Good thing I don’t get space to keep my leg down because if I did, where will the uncles on my sides keep their legs?! I mean they have to man spread (obviously!) and my legs shouldn’t get in the way, right?

Same goes for the guy in the back who decides to keep his leg under my seat. It’s not your fault you’re soo tall, but why don’t you try not moving then around soo much so we share that space so you and I can both be comfortable? But no worries. Thanks to uncle in the front lounging away, my legs are numb from all the crushing.

All this being said though, the minute I voice my concern men are usually extremely adapting and they keep their legs/arms/seat back in check. So maybe they just don’t realise other people getting crushed or have issues controlling their bladder.  

I don’t ever say anything though, because I do not like confrontation and I’d preferably get crushed for 5 hours than actually look at a human being in the eye and say that they need to sit properly.

So men, guys, please. Just look around sometimes and try to keep your bladder and your limps in your own personal space.  🙂 

Love, 

Photo Courtesy – https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/a/airplane_seats.asp

One Last Time

I wrote this at 5AM.

I have been in bed trying to fall asleep for 3 hours now. In a last desperate move I even tried watching OK Jaanu (yes, you may judge me a little🙄). When even the constant “Oye”s in the movie failed to put me to sleep I really started wondering the reason for the constant dark circles I have been parading around the past few days. 

Anxiety. 

With just another night left in Pune, for the first time in half a decade I was leaving my comfort zone. Kerala had become my “parents place” and Pune had become my home. I knew the places, people, roads and buildings here. If you want to eat out, I can tell you what to eat from where. If you want to go shopping I can tell you which place has the cheapest items. I can plan the best day out for you and tell you which clubs have the best music. I can tell you how nice it is to dance and sing at High Spirits and then go stand facing the river at Mix36. I can tell you to walk on Lane 1 and get spooked in KP. 

Things will have changed next time I come to Pune. 

For one thing I won’t call it home anymore. I will be a visitor. The Symbiosis sign I’ll see as I land will invoke nostalgia, not homecoming. 

There’ll never be a return ticket to Pune. There will never be telling the auto driver to take me to Rohan Mithila. There will never be waking up to screams and shouting of breakfast plans. There won’t be another “we should toootally eat/dance there duudee”. There will never be late night rush to finish deadlines and finally falling asleep saying “it’s not like they are going to do anything if we submit it late!Fuck it maan!”. There will never be “roadtrips” to go eat at Le Plaisir. Probably never be cribbing about early morning (that’s anything before 10) lectures. There’ll not be another visit to the college cafeteria just to get out of it a minute later complaining how the juniors have taken up every inch of the new campus. Also the constant “why the hell did we have to move to the new campus anyway?!”

There are faces I grew accustomed seeing; people I saw every single day. People who will slowly end up being random Facebook updates. It is something else hugging a friend or classmate and knowing that it probably is the very last time you’ll ever see them. 

Doing everything one last time. 

Meeting everyone one last time. 

Going to places one last time.

Was University worth it? Absolutely. Not because of what I learned in my textbooks; anybody can read from a book. It’s what the people there taught me; to love, to trust, to help, to care, to dance, to appreciate, to be happy, to be grateful and to accept myself as the absolute weirdo I am.

Above all, they taught me that at the end of the day if you’re able to come back home and be amongst people who can make you laugh until there are tears in your eyes, nothing else matters; you have everything you need. 

I have never been sadder to board a flight to Kochi, ever. 

Exaggerated Comedy AKA Lies

Comedy is basically exaggeration. If I go out to the grocery store and feel mild inconvenience when the guy in front of me in the payment line takes an extra minute to hand out the change, I tweet out saying how “the guy took soo much time to hand over the change that I swear I found a gray hair growing in my nose by the time he was done!”

Now whether you laugh at this or not(you probably didn’t lets be real), this is it. This basically is comedy.

But read that paragraph again. Notice how I said something about me tweeting? Yeah, no. I never tweet. I am not funny enough to make every single daily life situation into a tweet of that god-awful-number of characters. And that is also why you probably didn’t laugh at my “tweet” about growing old in the grocery store. My Twitter is literally me telling my 50 followers about my WordPress posts (maybe that is why I have only 50 followers :/)

And very honestly, I probably already have gray hair in my nose from all the stress so I shouldn’t be blaming the slow guy for it anyway😑

Now if we are really going to get into it, I don’t even go out to the grocery store anymore. Let’s be real, I Amazon prime the shitz out of things, or I order on BigBasket. Minimising human interaction is key to a happy life. I say that, but that’s a lie too. People who know me will know how much I enjoy human company. If not for human interaction (even with the kind that makes you want to punch your own face for talking to them), I’d probably go crazy. So see, lies again.

Also, who even pays with money anymore? Why would the guy pay with cash when he could have done it with the card? Is he primitive? Or was it black money? Is he trying to launder money? Is he using counterfeit notes? More importantly, did I use money laundering in the right context?

What I mean to say is, I lie for comedy. Like all the time. It’s not a horrible thing, of course. But it’s not something I am proud of either. I generally hate liars but I am also a hypocrite and since this lying is only for the purposes of comic relief, I think it’s cool. Agree with me while I try to justify my bad habits 😕

All I am saying is, if I am ever telling you a story, assume that I am exaggerating the shitz out of it so as to make people laugh. It works in real life. People seem to think I am funny. Well, some people do anyway. 😒

It is tough to determine the laughs I get up in the blogosphere. I hope someone laughs at my “jokes” though. I mean if liars go to hell, I might as well be able to make Satan laugh a little as he burns me down to the bones 👺

Well, here’s to hoping to befriend Satan 🍻

love,

Gif Courtesy – http://fuckyeahpheebs.tumblr.com/page/2, http://www.betches.com/pretty-little-liars-season-7-episode-4-recap

Vices || The PAw’s Thoughts

I noticed something in the past few months during my interaction with the world. Everybody seems to want to know what my vices are. Very honestly the first time someone asked me what my vices were, I had to google what “vices” meant (Yeah, I didn’t know. It’s no big deal).

Vocabulary lessons for the uninitiated.

So vices are basically your bad habits. And apparently the good old “I bite my nails” or “I don’t wash my hair everyday” don’t count. Vices are worse things, apparently.

Everybody I meet seem to want to put horrible ass shitz into their body.  The list starts from coffee (which is only a hug from the heaven lets be honest) and passes through alcohol and cigarettes and end in chemicals I don’t even want to name on my blog. And no, I don’t live in some sort of drug addled locality; neither do I go around making friends with the “wrong kind”. These are actually really good people, they just have vices.

If you ask me, I honestly don’t even know where people get half of these things from. My idea of indulging in a vice is going to a club and getting shots on shots on shots (truthfully though, I don’t need more than 2). I don’t have a favourite “sutta waala bhaiyya” (that’s the cigarette seller for non-hindi speaking peeps) and I definitely don’t have my personal drug dealer (no judgement… I guess…). I am not making these proclamations from a moral high horse, let me be clear. It’s coming from a place of concern.

I understand the want to experiment things in your life. For me the experimenting is closer to buying chicken biryani from that “new place that opened and nobody has really reviewed it so we don’t know if its good or will give you diarrhea”. But I honestly don’t understand how someone can snort cocaine when it’s known to be as addictive and harmful as it is. I can’t think of many reasons where someone might hate themselves/their body soo much that they do shitz like this.

Of course, I don’t mind people using the organic stuff 😛 (not that my minding it or not has anything to do with their personal choices), but its scary how easily certain chemicals which I believe to be evil incarnate are named and revered by everyone soo casually. Have they all tried it or is it just a means to look “cool” (it’s not cool btw.)

To anyone asking me about my vices, let me tell you this: I would rather sit around with my friends drinking chai than experiment hard drugs. I like those days when we meet each other for coffee and vada pav or something and NOT to smoke up and experiment a new whatever your personal drug dealer gave you.

Seriously, the next stranger who asks me about my vices is getting his/her ass kicked.

So basically, drugs are not cool, you don’t need a personal drug dealer, smoking is for losers and your body, health and future is more important than whatever your “friend” asked you to snort.

love,

 

 

NEW LOGO REVEAL!!💃

You know who I like the MOST on WordPress? Not many points for guessing, because I gush about her aalll the time and we even collabed recently (shameless YNTC plug here :P)

It’s my blogging soulmate TheWeirdBrownGirl (go ahead and subscribe coz she da boss 👑.). Other than being an awesome ass writer, badass artist and calmAF-during-shitstorm life coach who reminds me to hydrate (:P), she is also one of the best human beings I have ever come across (I can almost see her cringe :D).

And in pursuit of being a beautiful insaan, she has gone ahead and made a logo for TheSpeakingPAw! It’s soo cute and simple and represents this blog soo well and I was sooo happy she did it for me :’)

This, ladies, gentlemen, kids (I don’t think you should be here coz I curse a lot but whatever!)  – HERE IS THE NEW LOGO 🔽🔽🔽🔽

Look how pretty!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍

Also, now that I have a logo and all, I am profesh AF 😎

I could take this moment and tell y’all that I have created a schedule for my posts and that I am going to be a regular writer and all that, but lets be real. We all know me, and we  all know that I am never going to be on time or organised with anything in life.

However, interesting stuff are underway (maybe it’s a travel blog post,maybe its a new YNTC episode, maybe its a Facebook page :D). So plij keep and eye out for all of those. I know I haven’t been creeping in any of you guys’ blogs off late, but expect me to do that in the coming days (I am going to be relatively free and on a break🏖).

Until then,

love,

[dat logo doe!!! 🤤🤤]

 

Ya’ll Need To Chill – Episode #1

This series is in collaboration with the wonderful WBG from ThatWeirdBrownGirl!

Disclaimer: Every single opinion and experience is in conjunction with the Indian society, the society and people that we’ve grown up with. If you’re not Indian but the instances are similar, we’re glad you can relate and understand. If you ARE Indian and try denying/ arguing about this, may God bless your soul because it’ll be ripped to shreds by our hands.

YNTC Episode #1: “Your bra strap is showing”

Oh! The…the disgrace, we…have…betrayed the world….EVERYONE! We’ve let the whole world in on THE most guarded secret of all time, one that puts even the secrets that resides within Area 51 to shame! The secret that WOMEN WEAR BRAS BECAUSE WE HAVE BOOBS.

We didn’t know wearing bras were a secret or did we miss out on something important? Some announcement where the visibility of bra straps held people to question virtue of a woman? So you’re saying that the piece of cloth that covers breasts, breasts that people sexualize, are offensive to your eyes? And that we should be embarrassed when people know, or acknowledge, that we wear a bra?

Breaking news: when a woman’s bra strap is visible, she’s “shameless”, or “asking for it” according to people, men in particular, MEN who know squat about the chest area, unless they’re fantasizing about it.

“Look at her, walking around, cheating on all her boyfriends” “Well, a woman has needs, right?” “I can see her bra strap” “OMG what an ATTENTION WHORE!”

Excuse me, but do you know how expensive bras are?! Especially, the smooth, satin-like, makes-me-feel-like-a-goddess ones?! Our bras are expensive and pretty, therefore ex-squeeze me while we pull it out for people to appreciate it. What’s the point of hiding these wonders if people don’t see them?

Believe it or not, but there are phrases that indirectly tell you that your strap is showing like- “Your boyfriend is seen” or “India is coming out of Asia”. Like, WOW. Why not come up with something more subtle and fun, like- “Your pull out game is strong” or “Your boob armour is showing”, why not? Personally, we’re fond of the latter.

The extent of drama that comes with our bra strap making an appearance in public, you’d think it’s an offence graver than some “kEwL gUyzZ” walking around in their low waist jeans, with their butts hanging out. Yeah, btw, that is one of the first arguments against the bra strap. That “if men can’t show their underpants, women can’t show their bra strap” (actually read in the comments section of a Facebook Post defending the bra strap).

First of all, we personally have no issues seeing a man’s underpants. Not that we particularly enjoy having to see them in the metro or bus, but we can always look away and so that’s what we do (which one can do for the bra strap too, just saying). Also, it’s not the underpants that people hate seeing; it’s the bum crack everyone has a problem with. And anyway, comparing a bra strap to the underpants is not fair to the bra strap coz you know, bra straps are mostly always cute, unlike certain hole-y underpants some of us had the misfortune of seeing.

Aeons ago, in a land far far away, there was once an older lady arguing that if we allow bra straps to be shown today, next we’ll be allowing naked women to walk out and about in the streets. Yes, that’s very true. Today it’s the bra strap, tomorrow it’s the Parliament calling an emergency session to change the existing laws on public nudity, and day after all women are getting naked and the week after that complete anarchy ensues. TOTALLY going to happen. TOTALLY. We love enjoying a cool breeze around our privates, thank you very much.

Let’s get to the bottom line. It’s a strap. It’s an effin bra strap. It’s essentially coloured elastic band. Can’t we all just get over the piece of cloth and move on to caring about the bigger things in life? Like women not being able be in public without getting harassed, or gay people not being able to get married or the bee population dying massively? Can’t we?

We got a wonderful answer on Twitter from a fellow WPer, Zalak of ZalakWrites , when asked what goes through her mind when someone tells her that her bra strap is visible. She imparted pearls of wisdom, saying:

“When I hear this, I reply saying FYI. And walk on. Never saw anyone pulling up a man for scratching his balls or adjusting his undies in public”

Other than the serious rampant issue of misogyny, can we just compare the very ACT of adjusting one’s straps with adjusting one’s balls? How is placing your hand gobsmack to your crotch, wiggling, pulling out what seems to be a front-faced wedgie, not frowned upon but pretending to scratch your neck while subtly moving an elastic band an inch to the other direction an embarrassment?

And who, in the mighty depths of Hades, gave the decision that coloured bras are a no-no under white t-shirts? Bruh please, it’s bad enough that we don’t get to wear our lacy, sexy undies for a week, every month, for the majority of our life-span, so leave our clothes and sod off. Hell hath no fury like withholding something shimmery from a woman.

The next time someone comes up to you, gawking about how your bra strap/bra is visible, put your hand inside your shirt, pull out the confetti, throw it in their face and walk away.

And if you have an even cooler response, let us know in the comments! 😀

And remember, BRAS BEFORE BROS!

Cheers!

WBG and Paw 🙂

 

Hey guys! So, this is a regular series that we’re planning on continuing together, forever and ever! We’ve been brainstorming this for quite some time and we’ve finally glued together the scraps and whispered the magic words and brought this to life!

The main aim of this series is to bash out every silly, racist, sexist things that have ever been said to us, personally and in general, with sass and style.

And it is not limited to gender or country. If any of you folks have something to vent out, LET US KNOW. Anything that’s ever been directed at you or to the people that you know, LET US KNOW. Click on both of our CONTACT pages in the menu, and get to venting!

Until then,

Cheers!

Time Spent in Mumbai || Time Spent in Series

It’s been a while since I moved to Mumbai for an internship. You know, the land of Bollywood, glitz, glamour, rich, rags, local trains and everything else in between. I was terrified about moving here but now that I am here, I decided to extend my stay for a few more weeks. Don’t get me wrong, this is faar from my comfort zone, it’s a craazy place. But there’s something about the crowd and the people that I want to enjoy for a little longer.

So what all did I notice in these past two weeks?

• Rude People

Most people told me that Mumbai is one of the most welcoming places because of how tolerant the people are. I agree that the people here are tolerant.. But they are also super busy. This means that they have no time for you or your doubts/concerns/BS. This makes them very very rude sometimes.

Everyone I know are good, nice people. People I don’t know, like rickshaw waalas, uber guys, shopkeepers, random strangers… they scream at me for everything.

I got yelled at soooo many times, it’s not even funny. Rickshaw drivers yell at me because I have no coins with me to pay them and they, for some reason, don’t want to part with the coins they have in their little pouch. They also scream at me for losing my way and telling them to take a wrong turn (that’s not my fault, Google Maps hangs on me sometimes). I get screamed at by pedestrians for walking too slow (I don’t walk slow, they walk too fast).

Things have sort of changed now though. I have also started screaming back at people. After a point you start getting pissed at people trying to get on your nerves for no apparent reason. Maybe this is what they mean by “Mumbai changes you maaan!”. I have however noticed that people who yell at me calm down a little when I yell back at them.

• Geography

Needless to say, Mumbai is a huge city. Soo huge, that it takes hours and hours to reach from one end of the city to the other. Places I want to go to and people I want to meet live on the absolute other side of the city. I have been refusing to take the local trains all this while because this:

Imma not doing “chayya chayya” with these guys🙏

What even is this?

So unless ShahRukh Khan himself materialises in front of me and asks me to “chayya chayya” with him, I am not going near any local trains. That means I have to Uber places and even with all the romance I have with Uber (here), I  cannot be content with them charging such high rates to go places. I end up spending all my money on reaching to a place and am perpetually broke.

• Getting Lost

I pride myself as someone who is pretty good with directions. Unless I am in a mall, I rarely get lost horribly (No, I don’t have an explanation for why I get lost in mall). But in Mumbai, I, for the first time in my life, got lost horribly. Somehow, I managed to walk 3ish kilometres in the exact opposite direction to where I was supposed to go to. With my GPS on. Google MAPS on. People present around to whom I could’ve asked the way. Sign boards around saying I was walking the wrong way.

Still got lost.

Then I had to take an auto, pay extra (which is sad coz I walked so I wouldn’t have to pay 30 bucks. Yes, I am sometimes cheap.)

• The Name

Finally, there is the whole issue of whether I must call it “Bombay” or “Mumbai”. I know I am supposed to call it Mumbai, but my parents always said Bombay and I feel like I am too old now to change myself. But then again, I don’t want to get beaten up for not saying the right stuff. People seem to want to scream at me for no reason here anyway don’t want to give them a reason to beat me up too! So I am now a changed person who tries real hard to say “Mumbai”.

• Joeys and Theo’s ka Pyaar. 

Have you heard of Joeys? The pizza place? Their meat ultimo? No?

Take the next flight here. You need this pizza in your life.

It’s crowded, getting your pizza is a huge task and there is usually no place to sit there and ambience is non-existent. But the pizza – I think this place is actual proof that heaven exists.

Then there’s Theobroma. I am not a huge chocolate person, but even I think their desserts are AMAZEBALLS. There are many other dessert places around here too. I have many more to get to so 2017 is going to be pretty cool food wise at least 😀

All in all, I guess even with all the screaming and getting lost and geography issues, it’s still worth living here. If nothing else goes right, you can always go and get yourself good pizza and a cookie (get screamed at the auto guys on your way there and back, but whatever). The city is inspiring actually. Mumbai makes you want to work, to do something with your life. I don’t think many people can sit a home and do nothing all day after seeing the struggles people around get to chase their dreams.

And anyway, Coldplay has come here so that solves any issue I have with this land.

😛

 

love,

me:)

Photo Courtesy – https://kaipullai.com/2011/08/15/hello-world/, http://www.i24news.tv/fr/actu/international/asie-pacifique/64961-150320-un-train-deraille-dans-le-nord-de-l-inde-21-//mortshttp://www.i24news.tv/fr/actu/international/asie-pacifique/64961-150320-un-train-deraille-dans-le-nord-de-l-inde-21-morts, http://www.mumbaieastwest.in/events-in-mumbai/love-mumbai-the-symbol-of-love-for-mumbai-installed-at-bandra-reclamation/

Global Citizen Festival, India || Time Spent In Series

Sooo, I went for the Global Citizen Festival. You know, the thing that is being called the Coldplay concert (and for good reason too. Coldplay is basically heaven’s little Angels performing on Earth). I have been wanting to go since Google’s Twitter account posted this in August:

Everyone was suddenly the biggest fan of the band and I knew getting tickets was going to be an issue. The good tickets (cheap ones of course. Imma no pay 20k for anything) sold-out in seconds. Months passed, and after a “my friend’s friend has a ticket if you pay 7.5k” deal failed a week left to the event, I sort of started being sad. Hope not lost; but sad.

But then the nigh before the event, about 24 hours before Coldplay performed, I got myself a complimentary pass (good hearted people do exist amongst us). It was a whole universe-conspiring-with-me-to-make-it happen sort of situation 💖

I have come back home from the Festival and I have no photos of the event. I would like to tell the world that I made that decision so I could enjoy the show through my own eyes and not through my mobile screen but it was actually mostly because I wanted to save charge on my phone (portable chargers weren’t allowed inside). Phone or no phone, I noticed some real good stuff while I was there, so here goes:

• Is it me or is Arijit Singh like really cute?

It is not the first time I noticed this, but it sure is the first time I say this out loud. I might have a tiny crush there. He looked soo bloody cute with his curly hair and glasses. The good music adds to the cuteness too.😬

• Missed Opportunities

Shah Rukh Khan comes on stage to introduce Rahman and he says that anyone who can sing the Malayalam bit in “Jiya Jale” gets to dance with Rahman on stage. I could’ve made history up there on stage had SRK heard me screaming out the Malayalam lyrics. Problems of not having a Gold/Higher Zone pass, I tell you:'(

• Rahman Rocks (Obviously!); BUT his bassist is a QUEEN!

Firstly, Rahman’s bassist looks like a badass. Then her performance proves she is a real badass. Her hair is literal #Goals. There was a point when Rahman smiled at her and there was soo much pride there. Imagine being soo talented that you invoke pride in Rahman!

Remember that crush I had on Arijit Singh? Yeah, that totally changed and I now have started crushing on her. Such a rockstar ❤

The bassist is a rockstar and then Rahman sings effing “Humma Humma” in effing Tamil at Global Citizen Festival. The hindi-speakers looked confused AF but everyone jumped into jam with him the minute the chorus came up. I made up the entire Tamil lyrics to show off my “skills”, but who cares!

• Bachchan’s Style

Farhan Akhtar called Amitabh Bachchan to perform with him and while the performance was amazing, I couldn’t help but wonder where I could buy his poncho-kurta thingy from. It was white and comfy and very very stud looking.

I want

• Mandela Effect

Whenever people crowd around, there’s always a truck load of BS around and I specialize in overhearing them. So Vivek Oberoi and Nelson Mandela’s grandson comes on stage for their talk and this girl next to me legit thinks that he is Jay Z. Her friends try to correct her but she wouldn’t listen to them. Finally, after a 15 minute debate, everyone gave up on her and she was convinced that she was right and all her friends were wrong. Mr. Mandela even said something about his grandfather but the debators missed it. I have no idea how I kept a straight face through the whole thing. I tried looking for her when JayZ finally came up on stage but couldn’t find her.

• JayZ though🤘🤘

Needless to say, the actual Jay Z was nothing like Mr. Mandela. The dude is sooo cool, you instantly feel 10x cooler from just watching him perform. I don’t know much of his music to be honest, but the dude rapped to Chayya Chayya and Mundian To Bach Ke and I was dancing to him like a maniac. Seriously, he made the crowd go CRRRRAZYY.

• Modi’s Musings

So Modi couldn’t make it to the event so he video conferenced with the 80,000 of us. He wasn’t bad either. He really tried to get on to the young crowd’s wavelength. Cute he was, quoting Bob Dylan and making that little joke about de-monetisation. I just wanted to go give him a hug after the VC<3

• Who dem girls?

So now after Modi VC’d, everyone expected Coldplay to jump on to the stage and start Paradise or something, but none of that happened. Instead, these two very random girls (who were very hot, so the complaints were minimal) came up on stage and started turning some knobs on their DJ-board-thingy. They were pretty boring if you ask me but mostly so because everyone wanted Coldplay to come on stage. They didn’t really get a fair chance but whoever thought it was a good idea to let them open for Coldplay was clearly delusional.

• Finally, COLDPLAY happened.🌞👑

I had been waiting for this moment since August and when it finally happened and I heard Chris Martin’s voice flood the grounds, I started laughing out loud. It felt surreal; it felt heavenly. I cannot explain the emotions or the feeling, but every Coldplay fan present there would know what I mean when I say that nothing felt more right than being there at that moment. They played all the crowd favorites, they played some of the old songs for the die-hard fans and they put everything into the performance. Tears were involved, but my heart was super happy and grateful to have experienced them – their first ever concert in India.

Also, Rahman came on stage and Chris and he sang Maa Tujhe Salaam together. Goosebumps on goosebumps happened. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate how Chris totally learned the lyrics while Rahman was performing on stage and decided to wing it? And how he randomly sang Channa Mereya (Must have heard Arijit rehearsing it or something). Such a beautiful soul he has ❤

All in all, the Festival was AMAZING. There was soo much talent, passion and positivity around. People were standing in huge crowds under the blazing sun, sweating and dehydrated (because the lines for water, which the organisers made free (Thank you!), were humongous) but still dancing and singing and cheering for the performers on stage.

Oh, and people who pushed through the rest of us to get to the front without even saying “excuse me”, yeah, you’re all going to hell.

But you know who aren’t going to hell? The nice people who actually did/do good work for the Global Citizen Initiative. I do believe that we are the generation which can end poverty and if you are interested or care, even a tiny bit, about things other than yourself, then please check this out.

Standing in a long line  to get some drinking water or go to the loo was bloody hard, even though I had to do it just the one time. Imagine those people who cannot just open a tap and get fresh water or have the luxury of private washrooms. It sucks.

Coldplay really was the highlight of this mega event, but it is not just about them or the many other performances. All said and done, this is a much bigger cause so please check the site out, do what you can and pledge to be global citizens 🙏

 Oh, and btw, after the Festival I tottally got lost and this random stranger (sent by my relatives whom my dad called in a final attempt to save me) had to come pick me up and drop me home. I forgot the stranger’s name but he has my blessings. I won’t lie, I freaked the heck out when I couldn’t find transportation home. 

But all that was TOTS worth it so imma end this post now.

love,

me:)

Photo Courtesy – https://www.buzzfeed.com/andreborges/the-most-magical-and-wtf-things-that-happened-at-coldplay?utm_term=.acNEEokkgx#.qpJDDGbb6O , https://twitter.com/GoogleIndia , https://www.globalcitizen.in/en/,